My first curriculum decision

Singapore Math here I come. I printed out the tests a few days ago and will try to test the boys soon. What a relief to begin to make (oh so slight) progress on the quest. I still have much more planning and purchasing to accomplish but I am buoyed by the first step take. It seems like a good program designed for higher achieving individuals. I am going to remain flexible about how vested I am in it as I feel I have been so cautioned about how programs you might think are perfect don't always work out. Now I am moving on to reading and grammar and spelling etc. stuff. Starting to think also that I want to get some formal Kindergarten stuff for Jenny and not just "wing it" I want her reading this year.

I haven't done much else in terms of looking, don't know if it is more lethargy, indifference, exhaustion, or simply the Holidays. We are reaching the end of January and it (our start) is getting closer. I am excited as can be and, I must admit, I have feelings of dread and fear still. I find I feel the loss of "traditional education" in waves. Many times I am eager to get out of the system but then I find I am wistful and long for the security ( and abdication of the burden of responsibility) of the structured one size fits all. It is almost a battle of my heart and mind. In my mind, I am certain, absolutely positive, there is no better choice for my kids. In my heart, where I selfishly cling to the status quo that is my life, I have doubts about the magnitude of the journey, I get overwhelmed thinking of the YEARS ahead of me and the weight of the responsibility. I find myself nostalgic over the simple class projects or activities they are doing now like the first 100 days project, Will I be able to think of these things?. I read today in the Wall Street Journal about the benefits of pre-school for even children from advantaged homes. One item about how it is important to let your child listen and follow directions from non-relative adults. Makes me sad as I can picture Schnuckie2 (almost 3) having fun in circle time and with other little pre-schoolers, following the teacher's directions, and the pride he would feel to show me work that he did "on his own" with me not there. I guess it doesn't help that in his first gymnastics class yesterday he absolutely refused to participate. Not one bit. He sat for 50 minutes and watched. Besides the fact that I am not paying almost $90.00 to have him WATCH a gymnastics class, I was worried he may never learn to follow direction in a class environment or from others (silly I know but I worry). I may stick him in a pre-school yet, I won't rule it out. I will try not to let it be about me either as I long for a break from him as he is in a "terrible 2's (almost 3)" phase of his life. It doesn't help that this morning he consumed three servings of oatmeal only to bring it all back up with some sort of stomach virus, thus disrupting the daily plans. I won't get into graphic detail but I am a little turned off to oatmeal now as the consistency of it did not seem to change much despite the 1/2 hour or so it was being digested. Today has been a stay a home and clean (and update the blog) day as a result of all this.

At any rate. I am moving ahead, slowly but surely. The things they bring up to me about what they want to do with homeschooling keep me going. Having a President of the month, a country of the week, word of the day etc. These kids of mine have lots of great ideas and thoughts about what they want to do and learn. I hope the enthusiasm continues and I can organize and keep up. I will need to look to them to help me see that while the journey is not going to be easy, nothing of value and worth ever is.