Singapore Math here I come. I printed out the tests a few days ago and will try to test the boys soon. What a relief to begin to make (oh so slight) progress on the quest. I still have much more planning and purchasing to accomplish but I am buoyed by the first step take. It seems like a good program designed for higher achieving individuals. I am going to remain flexible about how vested I am in it as I feel I have been so cautioned about how programs you might think are perfect don't always work out. Now I am moving on to reading and grammar and spelling etc. stuff. Starting to think also that I want to get some formal Kindergarten stuff for Jenny and not just "wing it" I want her reading this year.
I haven't done much else in terms of looking, don't know if it is more lethargy, indifference, exhaustion, or simply the Holidays. We are reaching the end of January and it (our start) is getting closer. I am excited as can be and, I must admit, I have feelings of dread and fear still. I find I feel the loss of "traditional education" in waves. Many times I am eager to get out of the system but then I find I am wistful and long for the security ( and abdication of the burden of responsibility) of the structured one size fits all. It is almost a battle of my heart and mind. In my mind, I am certain, absolutely positive, there is no better choice for my kids. In my heart, where I selfishly cling to the status quo that is my life, I have doubts about the magnitude of the journey, I get overwhelmed thinking of the YEARS ahead of me and the weight of the responsibility. I find myself nostalgic over the simple class projects or activities they are doing now like the first 100 days project, Will I be able to think of these things?. I read today in the Wall Street Journal about the benefits of pre-school for even children from advantaged homes. One item about how it is important to let your child listen and follow directions from non-relative adults. Makes me sad as I can picture Schnuckie2 (almost 3) having fun in circle time and with other little pre-schoolers, following the teacher's directions, and the pride he would feel to show me work that he did "on his own" with me not there. I guess it doesn't help that in his first gymnastics class yesterday he absolutely refused to participate. Not one bit. He sat for 50 minutes and watched. Besides the fact that I am not paying almost $90.00 to have him WATCH a gymnastics class, I was worried he may never learn to follow direction in a class environment or from others (silly I know but I worry). I may stick him in a pre-school yet, I won't rule it out. I will try not to let it be about me either as I long for a break from him as he is in a "terrible 2's (almost 3)" phase of his life. It doesn't help that this morning he consumed three servings of oatmeal only to bring it all back up with some sort of stomach virus, thus disrupting the daily plans. I won't get into graphic detail but I am a little turned off to oatmeal now as the consistency of it did not seem to change much despite the 1/2 hour or so it was being digested. Today has been a stay a home and clean (and update the blog) day as a result of all this.
At any rate. I am moving ahead, slowly but surely. The things they bring up to me about what they want to do with homeschooling keep me going. Having a President of the month, a country of the week, word of the day etc. These kids of mine have lots of great ideas and thoughts about what they want to do and learn. I hope the enthusiasm continues and I can organize and keep up. I will need to look to them to help me see that while the journey is not going to be easy, nothing of value and worth ever is.
Showing posts with label homeschooling decisions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschooling decisions. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Looking ahead and losing
Still trying to shake my doldrums but starting to look ahead to the new year. I feel as though I have some tasks ahead of me as I look down the road.
First, I have some major curriculum to review and decide on and purchase. I feel as though I have made my first decision as I am going to start with Singapore math- US edition. I printed out the tests for the boys to take sometime in the next few weeks, then I will begin a search for a used copies and buy a few depending where they score. This first decision was a big accomplishment as I feel that the first step is taken, and I am really going to do this. I also scored big on the Scholastic Dollar days sale for teachers that a teacher friend clued me in on- (Thanks again Jackie) these will provide me with lots of extension activities and independent work ideas. I haven't even started looking at ILA, Science, and History but I am gaining confidence.
Second I need to work on Schuckie2 (almost3) as I find that I have indulged him over the years and as he has not been pushed off the lap by another little Schnuckie, I find he has little patience and lots of attitude. I am hoping that I can begin to help him understand that the world does not revolve around him and there will be times when I need to be busy with the other Schnuckies and he will just have to wait a few minutes (Gosh darn it). I will need to build my own reservoir of patience as he can be quite demanding and not easily put off. Like the others he will learn to wait his turn.
Finally, and most importantly, we have some losses coming, not only the loss of school friends but all my kids will be affected by the move of my best friend, Barbara. Our kids have played together for the last 4 years. She has 3 and our kids have been very close. As her youngest entered Kindergarten this year, we have been seeing less of each other. It may a convenient excuse to begin to pull away due to so much time is spent at school. I sense this is the way we have (or maybe its just me) of beginning to get used to not seeing each other anymore. It hurts, but like a Band-Aid, I think we are pulling it off slowly as opposed to a quick and sudden rip.
But I am particularly worried about my Schnuckie6(almost7) as he is losing these friends as well as his best friend who is so like him in both demeanor and smarts that I smile all the time about it when they are together. Two peas in a pod is an apt description. I often thought they'd be close through their teens. I even thought that he might be homeschooled and then the two of them would be inseparable. But Nathan's family is also planning to move this year. Schnuckie6 is a kind and sensitive boy and not the social butterfly his brother is, these losses will hit him very hard. I think alot about this upcoming pain for him and wonder if it might be kinder to try to insulate him a little by starting to move away from play dates and activities with his best friend. Maybe trying to hook him up with a few other friends to begin to develop deeper relationships so that the loss of his best friend may be blunted, as I try to do with mine. It is hard to decide what is better, allow the friendship to continue and have it suddenly broken, or ease away and have it die slowly. Children handle loss differently than adults. They don't have all the baggage we adults tend to heap on to loss experiences. As adults our losses have accumulated and the subsequent pain can create affect bridges to previous losses, magnifying the event. As children, they take the loss and deal with it more matter of factly and are often able to more easily move on. But I can't help wanting to protect my sweetie from beginning the list of loss that he will carry in his life. Right now I think that I am leaning to allowing him to stay close as long as he can. To quote Tennyson (although I am loathe to do that following the recent press conference of Gov. Blagoyovich when he ended with a quote from him) , I do believe that "Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all". These are the situations in life which make us into the unique and special people that we become.
First, I have some major curriculum to review and decide on and purchase. I feel as though I have made my first decision as I am going to start with Singapore math- US edition. I printed out the tests for the boys to take sometime in the next few weeks, then I will begin a search for a used copies and buy a few depending where they score. This first decision was a big accomplishment as I feel that the first step is taken, and I am really going to do this. I also scored big on the Scholastic Dollar days sale for teachers that a teacher friend clued me in on- (Thanks again Jackie) these will provide me with lots of extension activities and independent work ideas. I haven't even started looking at ILA, Science, and History but I am gaining confidence.
Second I need to work on Schuckie2 (almost3) as I find that I have indulged him over the years and as he has not been pushed off the lap by another little Schnuckie, I find he has little patience and lots of attitude. I am hoping that I can begin to help him understand that the world does not revolve around him and there will be times when I need to be busy with the other Schnuckies and he will just have to wait a few minutes (Gosh darn it). I will need to build my own reservoir of patience as he can be quite demanding and not easily put off. Like the others he will learn to wait his turn.
Finally, and most importantly, we have some losses coming, not only the loss of school friends but all my kids will be affected by the move of my best friend, Barbara. Our kids have played together for the last 4 years. She has 3 and our kids have been very close. As her youngest entered Kindergarten this year, we have been seeing less of each other. It may a convenient excuse to begin to pull away due to so much time is spent at school. I sense this is the way we have (or maybe its just me) of beginning to get used to not seeing each other anymore. It hurts, but like a Band-Aid, I think we are pulling it off slowly as opposed to a quick and sudden rip.
But I am particularly worried about my Schnuckie6(almost7) as he is losing these friends as well as his best friend who is so like him in both demeanor and smarts that I smile all the time about it when they are together. Two peas in a pod is an apt description. I often thought they'd be close through their teens. I even thought that he might be homeschooled and then the two of them would be inseparable. But Nathan's family is also planning to move this year. Schnuckie6 is a kind and sensitive boy and not the social butterfly his brother is, these losses will hit him very hard. I think alot about this upcoming pain for him and wonder if it might be kinder to try to insulate him a little by starting to move away from play dates and activities with his best friend. Maybe trying to hook him up with a few other friends to begin to develop deeper relationships so that the loss of his best friend may be blunted, as I try to do with mine. It is hard to decide what is better, allow the friendship to continue and have it suddenly broken, or ease away and have it die slowly. Children handle loss differently than adults. They don't have all the baggage we adults tend to heap on to loss experiences. As adults our losses have accumulated and the subsequent pain can create affect bridges to previous losses, magnifying the event. As children, they take the loss and deal with it more matter of factly and are often able to more easily move on. But I can't help wanting to protect my sweetie from beginning the list of loss that he will carry in his life. Right now I think that I am leaning to allowing him to stay close as long as he can. To quote Tennyson (although I am loathe to do that following the recent press conference of Gov. Blagoyovich when he ended with a quote from him) , I do believe that "Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all". These are the situations in life which make us into the unique and special people that we become.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Holy Crap? What am I thinking?
Somehow I think I may need to make this a Part 1 as I am certain I am gonna need to use this title again in the future.
That said, allow me to proceed, HOLY CRAP!! What am I thinking? I am just a normal person. I don't buy organic food, or milk my own cows (not that there is anything wrong with that). I am religious and go to church, but I don't preach. I am not a vegetarian. I don't bake my own bread and I have never, ever, been confused with a "Mother Earth" type. I am not particularly patient or understanding although I do have four kids which demands a certain loosening of standards to remain moderately. I NEVER would have thought someone like me would homeschool their kids. Truth be told, I never even particularly liked children. I never babysat and I don't think I even changed a diaper until I had my first son. My mother would have sworn to you (not that she would actually swear mind you) that I would have a menagerie of animals running around the house (in fact there was some mention during the wedding toast about a Schnuck Zoo). But I am certain that she'd have placed money (had she been a betting woman) on the fact that I would remain childless.
Then I had a baby.
I realized how utterly amazing and transformational those little words really are. Your life does, quite literally, change in mere moments. That change is so immediate and defining, it is almost as if a you have emerged from the shadows. You stand, squinting into the light, as you begin to understand something profound has irrevocable and permanently altered you. You are different right down into the core of your being from here on out. I was hooked. After I had one child, I wanted a hundred of them. I had another and I thought, well....maybe ten. Following my third, I decided one more would do. And so it was, four little faces around the table. I am so very fortunate my husband is a flexible and loving man. He met me when I proclaimed loudly (and often) that I probably never wanted to have children, but then, when we decided to try, he willingly shared my joy in building our family to what it has become today.
OK enough of that. I love being a mom and everything but really....Homeschooling also? As I said before, What am I thinking? There is so much information out there: Charlotte Mason, eclectic style, unschooling, deschooling, curriculum, co-ops, portfolio reviews, umbrella schools, web-based learning, single parents, working parents, special needs children, support groups, devoutly religious organizations, etc. etc. etc. Its enough to make my head spin. How can I possible get a handle on all this, organize myself and do a decent (forget excellent) job by my children. I vacillate between abject terror and supreme confidence and between deep desire and absolute rebellion to the idea. There is so much to consider. I feel fortunate that I have some time to get myself together and think about all my options. And on we go.......
That said, allow me to proceed, HOLY CRAP!! What am I thinking? I am just a normal person. I don't buy organic food, or milk my own cows (not that there is anything wrong with that). I am religious and go to church, but I don't preach. I am not a vegetarian. I don't bake my own bread and I have never, ever, been confused with a "Mother Earth" type. I am not particularly patient or understanding although I do have four kids which demands a certain loosening of standards to remain moderately. I NEVER would have thought someone like me would homeschool their kids. Truth be told, I never even particularly liked children. I never babysat and I don't think I even changed a diaper until I had my first son. My mother would have sworn to you (not that she would actually swear mind you) that I would have a menagerie of animals running around the house (in fact there was some mention during the wedding toast about a Schnuck Zoo). But I am certain that she'd have placed money (had she been a betting woman) on the fact that I would remain childless.
Then I had a baby.
I realized how utterly amazing and transformational those little words really are. Your life does, quite literally, change in mere moments. That change is so immediate and defining, it is almost as if a you have emerged from the shadows. You stand, squinting into the light, as you begin to understand something profound has irrevocable and permanently altered you. You are different right down into the core of your being from here on out. I was hooked. After I had one child, I wanted a hundred of them. I had another and I thought, well....maybe ten. Following my third, I decided one more would do. And so it was, four little faces around the table. I am so very fortunate my husband is a flexible and loving man. He met me when I proclaimed loudly (and often) that I probably never wanted to have children, but then, when we decided to try, he willingly shared my joy in building our family to what it has become today.
OK enough of that. I love being a mom and everything but really....Homeschooling also? As I said before, What am I thinking? There is so much information out there: Charlotte Mason, eclectic style, unschooling, deschooling, curriculum, co-ops, portfolio reviews, umbrella schools, web-based learning, single parents, working parents, special needs children, support groups, devoutly religious organizations, etc. etc. etc. Its enough to make my head spin. How can I possible get a handle on all this, organize myself and do a decent (forget excellent) job by my children. I vacillate between abject terror and supreme confidence and between deep desire and absolute rebellion to the idea. There is so much to consider. I feel fortunate that I have some time to get myself together and think about all my options. And on we go.......
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