I am frankly quite shocked at the number of people that open admit that to me. I don’t mean my friends who, in jest and half seriousness, bemoan the fact they their children seem to have selective hearing some of the time. No, I mean the ones seem eager to tell me that their kids would never be able to be homeschooled because they would never listen to them. Now, being the outspoken rather blunt often confrontational person that I am, I am torn when I hear this. Do I smile knowingly, nod in tacit agreement, and allow the person off the hook? Or do I say, in a sweet, inquiring, vaguely concerned, voice, “ Oh my, that must be really difficult, how ever do you get them ready for school in the morning?”'. Or maybe, “ Wow, your house must really be stressful to live in”. Or perhaps, “ Oh, I am so sorry, how does that make you feel?”. It is so tempting to challenge them and that silly excuse.
Now, don’t get me wrong I totally understand that many many people have no desire to homeschool their children. That’s OK with me, more power to them (trust me ,there are some days I fantasize sending the kids out on the bus - which conveniently stops at my driveway every morning at 8:25am. There is nothing wrong with admitting that it is a thankless, misunderstood, draining, exhausting, experience which requires you to do an unbelievable amount of planning, scheduling, shuttling, organizing, and follow up all to get a few brief verbal rewards of “OHHH that’s what you mean, I get it now, thanks Mom!” (or even more special is to hear your kid brag to another about how great it is to be homeschooled.) But mostly you must find your rewards from within and the quiet satisfaction you get when you hear your daughter fluidly read a sentence she has been working on; or when your child offers the correct answer to a question you ask after spending time learning something; or (my favorite) when your son confidently corrects the cashier when she tells him he did not give her enough money because she miscounted (that has happened 4 times this year). So homeschooling, like most parenting, is kind of a thankless (yet optional) job that some people choose in order to try to assist their kids in being successful academically. It is not a measure of parental love (parental insanity maybe) but just a choice, one of many, that parents face when making educational decisions about their kids.
so
really…
Why would you badmouth your parenting skills when confronted with someone who makes a choice different that your own? are you protecting yourself or me? Is it really more shameful to admit you do not want to homeschool than it is to admit you are a terrible parent and you are not able to get your kids to listen to you? What gives with that?
In the meantime, my kids listen as well to me as they always have, which is to say, enough to do what they need to, get their school work and chores done most of the time, and not enough to take advantage of them despite current child labor laws.
(And for the record, I never, ever ask the those questions, I always nod my head knowingly. And, (not being ignorant), I also do realize that there ARE lots and lots of kids out there who actually do NOT listen to their parents, in which case it is a good idea that it is known and embraced)
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