“…my kids don’t listen to me…”

I am frankly quite shocked at the number of people that open admit that to me.  I don’t mean my friends who, in jest and half seriousness, bemoan the fact they their children seem to have selective hearing some of the time.  No, I mean the ones seem eager to tell me that their kids would never be able to be homeschooled because they would never listen to them.  Now, being the outspoken rather blunt often confrontational person that I am, I am torn when I hear this.  Do I smile knowingly, nod in tacit agreement, and allow the person off the hook?  Or do I say, in a sweet, inquiring, vaguely concerned, voice, “ Oh my, that must be really difficult, how ever do you get them ready for school in the morning?”'.  Or maybe, “  Wow, your house must really be stressful to live in”.  Or perhaps, “ Oh, I am so sorry, how does that make you feel?”.  It is so tempting to challenge them and that silly excuse.

Now, don’t get me wrong I totally understand that many many people have no desire to homeschool their children.  That’s OK with me, more power to them (trust me ,there are some days I fantasize sending the kids out on the bus - which conveniently stops at my driveway every morning at 8:25am. There is nothing wrong with admitting that it is a thankless, misunderstood, draining, exhausting, experience which requires you to do an unbelievable amount of planning, scheduling, shuttling, organizing, and follow up all to get a few brief verbal rewards of “OHHH that’s what you mean, I get it now, thanks Mom!” (or even more special is to hear your kid brag to another about how great it is to be homeschooled.)   But mostly you must find your rewards from within and the quiet satisfaction you get when you hear your daughter fluidly read a sentence she has been working on; or when your child offers the correct answer to a question you ask after spending time learning something; or (my favorite) when your son confidently corrects the cashier when she tells him he did not give her enough money because she miscounted (that has happened 4 times this year).  So homeschooling, like most parenting, is kind of a thankless (yet optional) job that some people choose in order to try to assist their kids in being successful academically.  It is not a measure of parental love (parental insanity maybe)  but just a choice, one of many, that parents face when making educational decisions about their kids. 

so

really…

Why would you badmouth your parenting skills when confronted with someone who makes a choice different that your own?  are you protecting yourself or me?  Is it really more shameful to admit you do not want to homeschool than it is to admit you are a terrible parent and you are not able to get your kids to listen to you?  What gives with that?

In the meantime,  my kids listen as well to me as they always have, which is to say, enough to do what they need to, get their school work and chores done most of the time, and not enough to take advantage of them despite current child labor laws.

(And for the record, I never, ever ask the those questions, I always nod my head knowingly. And, (not being ignorant),  I also do realize that there ARE lots and lots of kids out there who actually do NOT listen to their parents, in which case it is a good idea that it is known and embraced)

And Life Goes on

Ho hum, nothing much new,  I must admit I thought that things would be a whole lot more interesting, and I would be filled with funny tidbits and compelling life lessons as I journeyed along this homeschool road. I imagined cute anecdotes and posting words of wisdom and interest that my brilliant children spouted out. Instead, I find my life a blur of planning, scheduling, driving, teaching, cleaning, cooking, and occasionally sleeping.  I have not written much, not because I have not wanted to , but rather the fear of boring my one or two readers .  There is only so much, “we did our math on time”  and “Ben mastered the art of the using infinite pronouns” that keeps  a reader interested. Our last few weeks we have been plodding along, getting things done, amusing each other, annoying each other and  (for the most part) accomplishing our stuff. 

We are going to more field trips lately, which I did not do much of over the fall semester and think that it is the best part of homeschool.  We went to the aquarium last week and will be headed to the Visionary Art museum is this week.  I will try to get some pictures up as Matthew  may really enjoy that place.  It is hard to let go of academics as I feel I need to have Ben working harder than he is ( more is expected of him being older and I wonder if he is not learning as much as he needs to)  I have been trying to get him to read more classic books and push him a little in that department to expand his learning through reading.  He recently completed The "Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordian, and enjoyed it immensely.  Grandpa Luecke (somewhat of a Greek specialist in his own right) was actually sufficiently impressed with his knowledge of Greek mythology.  I have been trying to get another series for him.  But he just checked out “The Odyssey” by Homer (yes he is only 9)  I certainly did not discourage him as he was excited about getting it.  Let’s hope he cracks  it open and gives it a try.  I will even ease up on him if he reads it during school, something he used to get in trouble for at public school.

and life goes on…

Judgment matters

     PapaSchnuck, ahem, Perry has not been too pleased about my putting it all out there, schedules, names, plans, etc.  I guess I certainly understand the concern and the worry,  There are a lot of whackos in this world.  People are sick and the possibility of one stumbling across cyberspace into my lap remains a possibility.  I fear more the closer threats, the ones that come sheathed in deception those that wind into your life and then  without warning, prey on  your children.  The chances of stranger abduction or molestation, while rare, are real, but far scarier is the friend, cousin, uncle, coach, or teacher that has ulterior motives.  The ones that gain’s your child's trust then exploits it for personal gain.  It is hard to balance the fear that comes with parenting and the reality that there is evil in the world but we all must do our best.  One of the first things I taught them, was that if they get lost or separated from me, to look for another mommy to help them.  I always figure that the chances that a mother would harm them is so miniscule, they would most likely be safe.  I believe this still, and hope they always remember to look and choose help wisely.

And because I love and respect my husband,  I will try to be more conscientious about the info I disclose and I will choose my words with care.  I also hope that I will remain vigilant and involved in their lives so that they do not become prey for those that will hurt them.

Oh! Sunny Days...

Happy new Year. I suppose this ought to be a post about resolutions, or lessons learned, or even hopes for the new year. Well, who knows maybe I'll get the trifecta in this post. It has proven to be a challenge for me to figure out what specifically to blog about over the end of last year. I feel compelled to be interesting and thoughtful, something which I was not feeling personally (particularly in December) much less 'professionally' ( if I might be so bold as to assert professionalism). In fact, I was feeling a wee bit of a failure at the end of the semester. Things were tough and I was getting a lot of resistance, and then we all had the stomach bug bout. BUT, I have bounced back and and am now looking forward. I spent the day today making some changes in curriculum, tweaking the schedule a bit, organizing my lesson plans in Homeschool Tracker; and generally making some school resolutions. I want to change things up a little: a bit more academics, a bit more fun, and hopefully teaching productively.

One big benefit to homeschooling is the flexibility to go and visit places, museums, parks, aquariums, see shows and get some hand on practical experience in life. We did no really go anywhere last year. I have resolved to do better. We are in such a great location we ought to be able to go somewhere interesting at least once a month, if not more. I have a few trips lines up already and have a couple of friends who are interested in joining us (this really helps to accomplish the difficult task of traveling out with the 4 monkeys all alone- I mean bathrooms trips alone require thought out planning). Things are just easier when you go with another adult, y'know?

So 2010 looks promising, the kids are open and excited about homeschool (they brag to their friends and speak about it positively) we are closer as a family and working together well, we have our activities lines up and ahead of us ( Pokemon club, Art Club, Co-op, gymnastics, Lacrosse to name a few). I am more comfortable and confident, have better tools and skills, and am still learning ways to improve. We will go through more tough times and low moments but I need to remember that sunshine would not be appreciated and enjoyed if you did not also have shadows. This is what I will carry through the new year. May it be a prosperous and Happy one for all.