Common Ground

Its funny that we are all so different. People can be exposed to the same situations or events and walk away with vastly different opinions and lessons about what they have experienced and learned. We are the sum of what we know, or what we think we know. Some of us are more ambivalent politically, some of us more passionate. We are pro-lifers or vegetarians, we seek amnesty for immigrants, or we want the war in Iraq to be over. We drive hybrids and want to save the environment or perhaps, we worry about population growth or the deficit. Regardless of the position, we choose our sides and go about finding support and justification for our beliefs. Challenge those beliefs and we dig in. The more pressure to change an opinion, the greater the resistance and more passionate the defense. Human nature perhaps? We all hate to turn around mid-stride and admit mistake or error, or even concede a point. And for those who choose no side, that in itself is a choice and often defended as well.

I feel fortunate to have not only exposure to but to be friends with many people who think very differently than I. Granted I don't "get" them much of the time, and am often completely stymied as to how they can view things so very differently than I. (or in my head, I judge, "Such a wrong view). I find though, that I like them for other things and we will avoid the areas we do not agree on. So, I am going to apply this more actively in my life. I have been trying lately to realize that no matter the size of the expanse between our ideologies, inevitably there are things which unite us and common ground that we share. There are many issues that truly are one side or the other. But even then, there are places in the middle where there is common ground. For example: people generally believe that abortion is either a moral wrong or it should be available. Most people, even passionate anti-abortionists, would agree that abortion should be permitted to preserve the physical life of the mother- or at least in that instance, it should be her choice. Some people stop there. Others have varying degrees of acceptance, up to complete unrestricted access to abortion up until the minute of birth. Along that continuum, there are people who move up and down and those which are firmly entrenched somewhere (6 weeks along; first trimester; expectation of a imperfect child) and will never move. Yet , I like to think that all would agree and could find common ground in an effort to reduce the occurrence of the need for abortion (or at least most abortions). So, any situation, no matter the disagreement , if we could approach things collaboratively, I think we could be at least find areas we agreed upon to improve.

Now, I love a good debate. One in which both sides are informed, respectful, and passionate. I have not always been known to follow those requirement (with the exception of the last one). I have, in my life, tended to be a rather black and white person. There can be shades of grey but for the most part I have felt justified and confident in my opinions, my moral direction, and my viewpoints. This is not to say that I can't admit error- something I have gotten better at as my maturity has opened the door for greater introspection, experience, and wisdom. Lately, I have been engaged in contentious disagreements with all the political upheaval and changes happening in Washington and it is wearing me out. Perhaps it is time to apply this lesson and try to find the common ground that is needed to go forth. To those who know me, this is an interesting challenge for me, and there will be many things with which I will struggle to find shared turf. We shall see how well I do.........