Driving cars and behavior?

I have been thinking a lot about what makes us tick, not in general but specifically. Every one of us are made up of a compilation of various experiences which help shape us into the people that we are. Some people go about their day never giving much thought as to why they do things or why they react in certain ways. Then there are those of us who dissect each action, ponder over the source and try to draw conclusions about our own behavior. For example, I like a full tank of gas. When I say full, I mean red line on the F. I'm OK until I hit half a tank and then I begin to surreptitiously scout out prices at gas stations. If I happen to be busy I may even let it fall to 1/4 tank, but almost never lower. One time I was driving a company car and their was this, DING. I looked down at the dash and saw a tiny illuminated icon of a gas pump. Panicked, I almost swerved off the road as my brain tried to figure out what in the world was happening. Was the gas tank broken? Could it possible explode? My mind raced for a moment and then it dawned on me. I was low on gas. I had no idea there even was such a device in cars, how clever but who could possible need to be reminded to fill the tank? At any rate I successfully made it to a station and filled up, relief pouring off me like the vapors off the gasoline. Now one might jump to the conclusion that I have run out of gas before, perhaps more than once, but I haven't ever done that. No, my father ran out of gas once. Oh, when you were a child? No again! It was sometime when my parents first met. But hearing my mother recount the incident to him and reminding him to fill up the tank when we got low, evidently made it seem like such a terrible occurrence. An incident of which I may never fully recover, that I don't dare take the chance. A year or so ago I watched a John Stossell show which said that Americans like a lot of warning and a tank reading E really has quite a bit of gas in it. Nice to know but I'm not taking any chances.

So maybe I can blame mom as the source of my need to have a full tank, or maybe it is more related to other peculiarities I have. I tend to be a bit of a hoarder. No, not stacks of newspapers in the hallway or fast food containers in the bathroom. I just like, or rather need, to be prepared, which is why I have, 12 cans of tuna, 3 jars of mayo and 16 boxes of cereal among a plethora of other stuff in my pantry at the moment. I could cook a really complete dinner for 14 if unexpected company dropped by. Why that might be, could possibly require more analysis than I am prepared to divulge but suffice to say that at sometime in my life, or maybe many times in my life, I was faced with a situation whereby I felt out of control. Stocking up and planning ahead perhaps allows me to feel more in control, albeit an illusion of control.

So, to go back to my initial thoughts, we are the sum of many parts, it is these parts and pieces of ourselves which make us unique- the good and the bad. No one is exclusively all good or all bad, and in a perfect world, when we do bad, we learn from it and we move on and do better next time. Unfortunately, not everyone is like that, some people are destined to repeat the mistakes they have made over and over. I don't know if it is a failure to believe in yourself or a belief they lack the abilities to learn and grow, or maybe they simply don't see it as bad. But if you want to change, and are willing to work for it, you can change and grow and be better. One of my favorite expressions is, "When you know better, you do better" Easier said than done but vital because that is the KEY. Being able to recognize that you know better now, and then you do better next time. First, you forgive yourself for being human and doing the wrong thing. Then, just trying to just do better. You might not do it perfectly the next time but as long as you do it better each time, you will get there. As simple and as hard as that, DO BETTER each time. You can. We all can.

And while your at it, fill your tank so you don't run out of gas.