the sausage making isn’t always pretty.

Sorry, I have been wrapped up a bit in politics lately (no, don’t worry I will keep the blog politically pure), and so I had to borrow the phrase from the recent legislative process to describe the recent experiences of my life.  We are finally emerging from a few rough weeks and I am still processing it all.  I said I would be honest in this thing so here it goes.  I was really resentful and actually hating having everyone here all day all the time  Ok it was only for a brief time but it was not very pleasant.  I was getting wrapped up in my own stuff and becoming a bit resentful of all the time that was going into the planning and copying and preparing of the school day, then those little ingrates were not being very appreciative of my efforts, nor my ideas (shocking huh?). Additionally,  they would complain and whine and overall be a very difficult about working on their assignments. ( I mean they would fail to scream with delight when reviewing the day’s assignments, go figure).  Days started getting longer and longer and more full of yelling and cajoling and threatening.  It was becoming more common than not to throw in the towel (whether work was completed or not) at 5pm and push everything over to finish the next day.  I would be angry, frustrated, short tempered, and hostile and the kids would be exhausted and poor Papaschnuck was dreading walking through the door at night. 

So what did we do?  simple actually, I changed my attitude.  I tried to re-center myself and realize that :

1) It did no good to my children if I was resentful of the effort that was required.  That was part of it and I needed to do it and move on, not carry it into the day and expect appreciation.

2)  Homeschooling,while work, needs to be fun and engaging.  The more I hated it, the more the kids hated it, and the less we accomplished.

3) school time needs to be school time, not Facebook, not news reading, not ‘my’ time.  The kids want to goof off and do their own thing when I am doing my own thing, we lead by example and my example is the most powerful one.

4) expectations are needed in both attitude and achievement. Kids rise to the occasion if you let them.

5) rewards need to be present and consequences need to be in place so #4 can be successful.

6) You cannot stay home and do work all day, you must get out, have fun and enjoy the time even if you miss math once in a while.  it is OK to miss math once in a while.

and finally,

7) curriculum changes are needed to help the teacher as well as the student.  Even if a course is working well for a child it does not mean it works for the teacher. I need to be able to manage all the different subjects and making changes to make life easier on me is OK ( and I am doing some changes now).

The last week or so things are better, we are all more engaged, happy and feeling more empowered.  I must continue to remain flexible and open in order to make the most of this experience, for all of us.  I am only human and we are going to have highs and lows.  I am glad to be out of that low and eager to continue to grow and learn from this, after all, I am in school again.

No I didn’t forget, I have just been busy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY JENNY PIE!

 

Butterflies and sweetie pies.  My daughter turned 6.  Not often that a week will go by without someone telling me that she looks EXACTLY like me.  I must admit it warms my heart but I know that she has also inherited my strong personality, my inability to keep my opinion to my self (even when it is not always welcomed), my stubborn nature and my slight bent towards moodiness, nonetheless, she is not me, she is her own person who entered into this world a large red bundle of sweetness and softness and remains a kind and caring, sweet and loving child.  Happy birthday Jenny!

(standing here with the gift we gave her, a beaded curtain, and the only thing I have heard her proclaim she wanted over the last year.  Her happiness with it made the 3 hour process to piece it back together worth it when she got tangled in it on the third day and pulled off two strands….well, almost.

My ‘baby’ is four so is he still my baby?

YES but..

Wait a minute, what the heck happened?  One minute I was nursing my sweet little forth child, a tiny little boy, with beautiful eyes and a bright little smile….and then I put him down in his crib and woke up this morning and realized he just turned FOUR!!  You can’t really fake it anymore at four,  I have to accept reality, my baby days are over.  This brings a deep sadness to my soul.  I enjoyed (almost) every minute of them when they were a baby.  Yes, we had problems and ups and downs but not too many and never too terrible ( of course the passage a time, smoothes the rough edges, lessens the pain) but really, I loved every minute.  They all slept well ( except a few months there with Nate) and ate well (except Jenny when she was first born) and overall they were easy kids, no colic, not too demanding, and with the benefit of having 2 parents with similar parenting philosophies, we all have been happy healthy and content.

But NOW I HAVE JUST REALIZED…  my baby days are gone. Poof, vanishing in a moment and gone forever.  I will (hopefully) have grandchildren someday but never again will I have a baby.  So much of parenting is about letting go and losing.  I guess that is, in some way, a good definition of parenting, as it is the whole goal.  Our kids grow up and leave us; learn to be self sufficient ( hopefully) and get a job; get married and have their own family.  Moving on, to realize at some long and distant time in the future how very very special it is to be a parent and how very very thankful we are to our parents for all they have done for us, and how their kids will go on to do the same………

I better go, I am going to go upstairs to see my mother, she is visiting right now, and tell her I love her, after all, I am still her baby….

Happy Birthday NATE

My sweetie pie is FOUR (4!).  My goodness he is so big.

Such a cutie pa-tootie, it is so hard to see him grow as he is my last little Schnuckie.

One thing about homeschooling though is I feel like I am wringing every minute out that I can with my kids.  I cannot possible imagine that when they are grown I will look back and regret not doing this. 

So, allow me to indulge and say, Happy 4th Birthday my sweet little special Schnuck!

 

Believe it or not that is the worst looking cake I have ever made, but how can you work with black? What other child asks for black icing on his cake?  I made a Lego cake ( well officially I called it a “Lego after the puppies got a hold of it” cake as I encountered some…errr..technical construction difficulties, but they all said it tasted great so I just tried to ignore the ‘yuck’ factor with the color).  And everyone who saw him the next day knew him well enough not to ask about the stain around his mouth.

So, dear Nate, I look forward to our journey together , I cannot wait to see where we will go.