Dog Training and other thoughts about raising children.

Raising kids is like raising dogs. Yes, I said it, go ahead report me to the authorities, guilty as charged. Oh, of course, there ARE major differences. I am not allowed to use the e-collars on them, nor lock them in wire crates (though, I admit, I do think about that on occasion). But in all seriousness there are some major similarities in training dogs and in raising kids.

Why does this occur to me. Well, we finally had enough with the puppies ( Am I still calling two 80lb creatures puppies?....Yes) They have really gotten out of control and we decided we needed professional help ( luckily they are listed in the yellow pages –ha ha how is that for a dated reference- under Dog Trainers, unfortunately there is not subsequent listing under Child Training. ) At any rate we had a guy come in (Scott) who followed the dog psychology theory of Cesar Milan and basically whipped us into shape and made us the boss of these adorable yet frustratingly bad creatures ( ummm the dogs in case you were thinking otherwise) BUT in his teachings and wisdom, we also see that we need to come down a bit harder on the kids and make sure to keep them in line as well.

Turns out the dogs simply need to know that we are the boss….all the time…in every interaction, with every request. Sounds simple but the trick is in figuring out how to be the alpha and in doing it EVERY TIME ( I capitalize as evidently that is the key, consistency) well go figure…. Consistency and being the boss every time seems to work well with kids as well. It does not pay to give that rawhide (candy) to the dog (child) simply to buy a few minutes of peace. It does no good to leave the dogs (child) outside (in front of the TV) because you want to finish blogging. It does not help to ignore the crayon (marker) in the dog’s mouth ( child’s hand) as it is simply the beginning of a bigger problem ahead. Nope. One must get up, and correct, scold, reprimand, reward, praise , reinforce EVERY TIME, in a neutral, calm assertive voice.

And thus the second point. The words don’t matter, at least mostly. Evidently, yelling, screaming, complaining, shrieking, wailing, sarcasm and frustration in your voice works about as well for a dog as it does for a child. Granted children are able to understand the meaning of the spoken words, but the most effective is a calm voice, conveying the desired outcome, everything else gets washed away in the noise of the situation. Yelling and screaming do nothing more than excite (tune off) the dog (child). The whole point is the message that you are sending.

So, when training your dog (child) be sure to:

1) Remain calm
2) Speak with authority and love
3) Understand that mistakes are often a result of your own miscommunication or earlier errors
4) There is always a lesson in failure (for you especially).
5) Know that when in doubt, treats can be highly motivating.
6) Always be ready for kisses

The Joy of the Stomach Bug

OK, I know, there you are looking at the title and thinking "Uh oh, here she goes", ready to read a long and winding complaint about sick kids..."( I mean whew, what could be more exciting than listening to a person discuss various bodily fluids and how they might arrive in the toilet) well SURPRISE! I am actually going to talk a little bit about the joy (oft overlooked) of the stomach bug.

First, a little background. I took the kids to Chuck E Sneeze last Friday, trying to be a good mom and reward them for doing well in school (and by well I mean being present in the house). I had mentally prepared myself that we might get a bug or germ as a result of this visit (I even brought the hand sanitizer and placed in prominently on the table in a vain voodoo attempt to bluff the germs). I cautioned the kids to try no to touch their noses and mouths. I said a prayer. I was prepared. What I was not ready was the blood coming out of my child's mouth when he rounded the corner and tripped, crashing into the climbing tower you scale to reach the tunnels. (yes, of course it was Nate) One look and I knew: ER and stitches. We had only been at CEC enough time to get coins, order pizza, spend a few, and eat when it happened. Having brought 2 hours of planning work, my computer and a novel, we had to pack up everything and haul out to the hospital to get three, awful, black, harsh stitches on my sweet boy's lip.

(BTW, he got the stitches out yesterday and it looks pretty good. The doctor did a great job and he never cried at all during the sewing, they numbed him topically, and it was actually a rather positive experience...um...if you had to go through it).

SO,
The stomach bug was brought home that night and it started the next day with poor sweet Jenny, moved to Ben, me, Nate and then Perry, ( as of this typing Matthew remains healthy and seems...knock wood...to be the one who avoided it ) Jenny got the sickest, Ben shrugged it off in 12 hours. I was down for a while almost 2 days, and Nate managed to throw up and not damage his stitches. (whoops am I getting too much into body fluids?)

OK, so my main amazement and awe about this wondrous bug is that it MUST be smart. (and I meant smart as in thinking and planning smart) because when these things go through our house, we always take turns with it. We are so nice about it, like it is a precious gift to be carefully shared. It is not fun to deal with a sick kid but it is really not fun to deal with two at the same time and that almost NEVER happens. Just like clockwork one of us emerges form the depths of illness and begins to get back to normal and the next is felled. Granted, we have so many people in this house a 24 hour bug wipes a week off the map but it could be worse. ( I won't discuss the January a few years ago where I was home with a sick one for 29 days STRAIGHT....I went a little bonko, I admit) Anyway, I wonder why this phenomenon is not better studied. It does not seem to matter that we were all exposed at the same time, nor how much scrubbing and washing and cleaning and sanitizing and quarantining, almost with precision, it strikes us only one at a time. You have to appreciate the consideration in that, never are the two parents struck down at the same time, nor do we have to divide our love and sympathy among the sick, one child gets it all ( and face it we only have so much on any given day).

My second appreciation is that PapaSchnuck became MamaSchnuck for a day (OK, a day and a half) and did a GREAT job. Laundry folded, kitchen cleaned, kids fed, kids schooled ( YES!) house managed, you name it, DONE. DONE. DONE. All while I languished in my sick bed, sleeping endless hours of undisturbed rest. I haven't slept so much since college. Besides having to cancel the teaching in my co-op class and rescheduling my home school review, all in all I took a serious chunk out of my sleep deficiency total.

Finally, an appreciation for my kids, besides being understanding and invaluable during the Nate lip incident, they also were good all week. We managed to get out during the reprieve of PapaSchnuck taking the sickness from us, and still got work done and helped each other out. Especially when I was sick and really out they stepped up and behaved and did as they needed to. I thank the Stomach Big for helping me see and appreciate them in a different way.

It has been over a year since we have all been sick like this, probably closer to two years, and we were due. I am happy its over and hope it does not come back anytime soon, but I dread having to return to Chuck E Cheese to actually let the kids enjoy their earned reward....hmmmm I wonder, do you think the movie theatre is any less germy?

The Bad and The Ugly

Well, I certainly spend a great deal of time bragging about the joy of homeschooling. Boasting of all the fun and joy we have all day long, laughing and playing, learning and loving. Hey, whats the down side? Well, there is no down side............ Yeah, right. There are plenty of downsides to homeschooling, but none that are so terrible ( at least for me ) that it makes me want to stop. So I decided that I really ought to list a few realities of homeschooling to all you (OK, the two or three) who are reading in case you want some balance.

First, and becoming more and more noticeable the longer we homeschool, interrupting children. (I know, it sounds like a bad joke...Knock knock...whose there? Interrupting children. Interrupting chil....MOM!!!) But seriously...my kids, whose every word I treasure, each wise and fascinating nugget of info they wish to offer while we are in lessons... become crazy self absorbed, blindly egotistical creatures who then expect that there are simply no boundaries that cannot be breached. I mean, you are going into the bathroom, well, no big deal, they are certain that you would immediately want to hear about a leaf found in the hallway that looks EXACTLY like a stink bug, it absolutely can't wait until hands are washed, no. Deep in conversation with Dad about the schedule in the morning? no worries, It is assured that the snack you want NOW, simply cannot wait for little things like FINISHING MY SENTENCE BECAUSE I AM TALKING TO YOUR FATHER!!!! ahem, sorry, but it is gotten quite out of hand and we are attempting to address it post haste. There is definitely a benefit for kids to learn to sit down, be quiet, and I don't care what you have to say at this moment, I am busy. I think they learn better in public school that their every thought and experience is not welcomed with wonder and awe.

Second, planning, planning, planning. It is worse than housework. I mean going on an awesome field trip to say...make glass, FUN FUN FUN. Creating a knowledgeable lesson to be able to squeeze that mind around some learning that relates to tings done during the day in a broader sense like ancient glass making or the effect of factories and automation on the industrialized age... Sigh, sucks the life out of the joy, I confess sometimes we just go and have fun.

Third Humbleness. There is nothing quite so ego shattering as a your 6 year old daughter correcting your mistake while teaching a lesson. Or your 8 year old son fixing a math error you made. Listen, I hear a lot from people who claim there is no way they could ever teach their kids as they lack the knowledge. Well, evidently I am right there as well ( even though I DO have the pre-school agenda mastered. I make it to about late elementary school but overall, it is ridiculous how little I know sometimes. I am learning so much but the trick is to try to keep that to myself, at least as long as possible. Learning in order to teach, I suspect is common for all teachers. ( Besides how many of us really could remember all those prepositions without a little cheat sheet??)

Finally, Dirt and clutter. The house is a mess. No, really, a mess. It is hard to keep up. Should I teach grammar today or trade a lesson to get the bathrooms cleaned? When they were in school and out of the house there was only so much they could get into, now they are home, ( I mean we DO go out, actually a lot but you understand) we are home for most every meal, ( yeah, 6 breakfasts, 5 lunches 6 dinners every day-I am running the dishwasher twice a day sometimes.) We are together all the time (ALL.THE.TIME) and trying to clean the house is like bailing a sinking boat, it is a losing battle. There are days I throw my hands up and do the ostrich, only in my bed, not the sand. The mess is a tidal wave that threatens to sweep me away at times.

So, there you have it. Not too bad and I have omitted a few hundred but today, these are the ones that bother me. Would I trade it in for a clean house, un-interrupting kids, retained knowledge ( or at least ignorance of my limitations) and weekends free of planning?....Nope, not a chance,

(turn head "WHAT? WHAT? could it not wait another second when I would be done blogging?")

sigh

gotta go.

Hello? yeah, I'm here....um........nothing.

Two weeks later....

Ahem, am I allowed to tell you how busy I am? How I have tried to do more this year to make homeschooling more fulfilling and rewarding? How my house is a wreck and there are three kids in soccer, three in Scouts and I have to occasionally get food for the locusts that breeze through the pantry? Truth be told it doesn't take long to post and entry in my blog, the harder part is coming up with a topic to discuss which allows me to post a thoughtful yet admittedly bias opinion. Perhaps the key word is thoughtful, the mere fact that I am able to be thoughtful on occasion seems miraculous to me, so when I get the opportunity, I do take it, it just doesn't come along very often. So, may I use any of the above excuses? No? ah well, for what it's worth the frequency by which I claim 'busy' as an excuse is getting old to me too.

So where to begin? First with a clarification, ( my first evah!) I posted last time about day care kids, I know better than to stereotype families and kids and I thought I had qualified everything sufficiently, but evidently, I may have given a misperception about an important point that I need to clarify. I do not think that day care kids are sad....my point was that I am sad to think of day care kids. Yes, I know they are (like most all kids), as cherished and loved as my own, I simply was trying to post on my feelings about how I might react if I had to put my kids in day care, and feeling sad that there are sacrifices made to the importance of being together, that's all. It would make me so profoundly sad to have to turn my kids over to someone else as our time with our children is so brief on this earth anyway. I meant no offense or criticism of life choices, we all work with the hands we are dealt, as best as we are able ( well most of us). Okay? are we clear? Are we good? Terrific.

Now on to the post:
There I was, fresh off a grueling work out (ha ha ) showering at the gym. As I turned off my shower, I hear a woman next to me....(wait for it).....ANSWER HER CELL PHONE........IN.THE.SHOWER. Now I happen to be all about communication, I think cell phones are the bees knees, it is hard to imagine a device that is more convenient and helpful, yet pervasive, in our society. But frankly, I think we all need to take a huge step backwards. A woman answered the cell phone in the shower. Does anyone else find that.....unbelievable? Now before you pepper me with all sorts of reasons why she might answer ( awaiting a doctor's call, needs to pick up a child. etc) I get it, there are instances that having a phone is vital and so so so so helpful. But, this was the woman's entire conversation "Hello... yeah, I'm here... um nothing really, I am in the shower...oh about 20 minutes.. OK, I'll talk to you then....yup....bye" Now if she was awaiting a important call, that was NOT it, why did she answer, she must have looked at the number. I mean can't you wait a few minutes to finish cleaning yourself. Are you oh so important (or egotistical) (or needy) that you think someone cannot wait a FEW minutes to be graced with your response? that you might be able to get a message and perhaps call back? that maybe, a call could....WAIT??? gasp, Perhaps we need to place some limits on the intrusiveness of our cell phones and what we deem as appropriate.

Now, I own a cell phone, I occasionally use it. I received it 10 years ago when I was preggers with my first child (umm OK maybe 11 years ago) and I have upgraded the phone a few times but have the same plan: $19.00 a month, 60 minutes of talk, no texts, per month. I have gone over my allotment of talk only 2 months ( consecutive months in 2006 when my land line was in Verizon hell). I do not like my phone, rarely have it with me and if I do, chances are it hasn't been charged or I have forgotten to turn it on. I realize that as I have my children with me most of the time this is a luxury I am able to have and I understand I am on one end of a spectrum. I do not expect everyone to follow my oh so sage advise to ditch their phones and live more in the moment but please, can we come up with a few sacrosanct rules to follow ( unless we are talking life and death)?

1) No cell phones in bathrooms...that includes the toilet AND the shower.

2)No cell phones in restaurants (at the table). You really do speak louder when you are on them even if you don't think you do, ( you do!).

3) No cell phones while working out, especially while participating in a group exercise class. ( Yes, this happens way more frequently than you might imagine) Also, treadmill and other exercise equipment should be free of talk unless the person in next to you working up a sweat as well. If your call is important enough to answer, then move your lazy self out in a common area, I mean you ARE there to move about yes?

4) Doctor offices or perhaps waiting rooms in general ( please get up and walk away).

5) Please, never answer your phone while you are in the middle of a conversation with someone else. Basically, you are telling that person that a new, more important, interesting, person has come along and you prefer to talk to them.

and finally, I know I will get some flack for this one but what the hey:

6) Driving. I mean really, how often is that conversation worth the risk? Yeah Yeah I know, you are careful, you slow down, you drive fine, you pay attention, it is no different than any other distraction. I get it, we all rationalize this one. But I doubt anyone can honestly tell me they have never drifted off and lost attention during a call, (yes, only for a moment and nothing happened) but please, I run, and I almost get nailed every day I am out there... Odds are that luck will run out eventually. Hang up and drive your car.

Life is too short to ignore your surroundings, to navigate this planet plugged into another realm where the people you talk to are not around you is really bad. Being impolite or rude is one aspect of the overuse of cell phones but do we not lose a bit of ourselves and our lives and our experiences as we fall into an electronic void? Life is too short and life is too fun. I mean really, is that call SO important that you must answer it? Cell phones (all phones for that matter) ought to be there for OUR convenience, not the other way around, you do not HAVE to answer the phone when it rings. Now don't even get me started on texting....

See you later dear….

Well I sit here in the library of my local Elementary School, yes they do allow homeschoolers in the doors, we aren’t contagious as far as they are concerned (if they only knew). I am coming to you tonight from my daughter’s Daisy meeting. For the uninformed, Daisies is the first level of Girl Scouts. After 2 years as Daisies they become Brownies, for 2 years, and then the final exalted position of Girl scout. Now Jenny being the first girl in the family this is a whole new world, I have had years of Cub Scouts. For the equally uninformed, Cub Scouts is the first level of the Boy Scout branch. They start as Cubbies in 1st grade ( or 6 years old to be more specific) and progress through Tiger, Bear, Wolf, then 2 years of Webelos ( I know crazy right but it means: We'll Be Loyal Scouts).



At any rate, I am rambling tonight, appropriate I guess as I have been totally crazy today, but I walked into the school ( 6:03pm yes, I was late- ugh), and there was a dad picking his kids up from the afterschool YMCA program and there was one lone kid left in the cafeteria. Now, I know that many, many kids are in daycare. In fact more than not I would wager, but…. I admit, I was a bit struck. Today, like most days, I have spent the entire day with my kids. (Yes I know, to many of you this is not a palatable choice, and I myself can wax poetic about the drawbacks of this but,) tonight, I began to realize this thing, that is so often required of families, this…… sacrifice, that happens every day, is terribly sad. I understand that many families have no other choice. Through circumstance, or luck, situation or misfortune, there are many single parents who must work full time to support their families. Other families need both salaries, and some families choose to work to get the extra benefits of more money. But looking at the real life result of day care I was profoundly affected. This child went off to school by 8:30 ( most likely earlier, perhaps as early as 7am) and then had a full day of school, followed by a couple of hours after school , in day care, before being picked up to go home. Maybe 10-11 hours a day spent away form the family. How many hours are actually spent with mom and dad?......three, four? and what gets squeezed into that time? Eating, bathing, homework? On an average week they spend what, 15 hours with their awake child? Maybe 20? Wow. What has happened to our society to where we must outsource our children to other people? Don’t get me wrong, many families do not have another choice, but it doesn’t mean it is not a profoundly sad fact that it is so very common. I may resent my children at times for their demands on my every second; I may complain at the intrusiveness of their ever present needs; I may rue the day I decided it is good policy to try to answer every endless question, but I simply cannot even image handing them over to someone else to do all these things. The day will come soon enough when my children will be off and gone. I want to put that off as long as possible. Children need their parents, and need to be able to learn from them. Childhood is too short to miss out on and once it’s gone, you can never get it back. I feel blessed that I can make the sacrifices rather than making them sacrifice me.

The Joy of Field Trips

Academy of Natural Sciences

Nothing philosophical today simply a sharing of the joy that is the field trip. I did not take advantage as much last year and have been trying to make up for lost time. We went up to the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia on Friday ( near to the more well known Franklin Institute) and while small and easily seen in a few hours we had s great time. The kids were able to see the Dioramas of the animals ( moose and lions and bears and stuff) and best of all we spent quite a bit of time in the butterfly room. It was really fun to see all the different varieties, look at them eat. and they were everywhere, the walls and floors ( we had to tread carefully), so many colors and sizes. Jenny and Matthew semed to enjoy it the most. They also got to spend time a room called "Outside IN" with some live animals, animal bones, and hides, lots of things to touc and explore. Puzzles to do and all sorts of creepy crawly things to touch and see.

McFadden Glass Blowing



Then yesterday we went to a glass blowing shop, small and quaint in the garage of a guy. 20 active homeschoolers attended and everyone got to make either a pendant or a marble. And yes, they allowed the 4 year old monster ( aka Nate) to actually use a rod to get molton glass, and (with help ) pick colors and form it into a marble. Jenny got to make a pendant and I have to say, Really was one of our best field trips ever. No way would they ever do this in public school.

First they got the molton glass out of the furnace, then dabbed it in the additional colors they wanted. After placing it back in the rewarming furnace, they then they rolled it on a table, back to rewarm, then using the tongs, formed it into the shape and then knocked it off the rod. After placing it in insulation to cool, the rod goes into to barrel to cool off which pops off the extra glass from the rod. After 15-20 minutes the marble is cool enough to handle and the nub gets ground down to make it all smooth. It really was fun and different. This is the stuff that makes homeschooling worth it.

Fabulous Days.

Running around Homeschooling

I have been thinking a lot about homeschooling and running, and the parallel between them. For me, I approached both of these insane ideas with the same sort of resolute trepidation. OK, this is something that you must do, it is in your (and the kids) best interest. It will be something that you just have to endure.... and with both, I was surprised to discover, not only that I CAN do it, but there are benefits that I actually enjoy, and ( dare I say) that it is sometimes .....fun.

Now, there are many days that I simply would rather have a bikini wax than homeschool. I sometimes ponder the desire to skip a day ( or week) and just goof off. But, I gear up and settle everyone down to do as they should, and I slide into the familiar and BAM, before I know the day is done and we have accomplished everything that was scheduled ( well, more or less, I mean I am not Anne Sullivan). How does this happen? Besides simple ( ha ha- simple?) will power, I attribute this to a few things, I am getting better at motivating and scheduling the kids. They know what is expected, I have rewards and consequences and it is our routine. Also, I have great hubby who wants this for our family. While he doesn't necessarily know the day to day drama, he is glad I am doing this and allows me to freak out about it every now and then with love, support, and encouragement. I have the benefit ( and consequence) of being with my kids almost all the time, I really, really know them (and they me) the good, the bad, and the ugly. We have fun, we laugh, we play, we discuss the grammatical ways in which to use the word "fart" ( Did you know that "farting" is a present participle?). Also, I find that my kids have a fun knowledge of the obscure, are serious about reading, enjoy different experiences, are confident, are kind ( well not always to each other), and generally they are pretty good kids.

Now running, again, lots of similarities, I rarely want to do it ( but will admit that I have caught myself looking forward to it, once). I get up, get dressed, I put on my sneaks, and head out the door. Usually I am operating on routine, as I want nothing at all to do with crawling out of bed. ( Have I mentioned my pride at being a night owl and morning hater?) All the while, I am quietly being negative about it all ( hmmm lowering expectations?) convincing myself that today I am not going to run far, that I am never going to make it all the way this morning, that it is OK to slack a bit once in a while, that perhaps today I will walk some hills instead of running 4 miles. etc. etc. etc. But I start and then, BAM before I know it, its done. How does this happen? Well, same things, I am getting more conditioned and my body is able to achieve more ( and feel more, as the almost 42 year old knees seem to be giving me some trouble lately). Also, I have a supportive husband who praises my efforts, encourages me to keep at it, and balances the right amount of neutrality to my negativity and positive support to my enthusiasm. Finally, I also have a running partner, who I, quite literally, ran into one day. And as we had the same schedule and pace, we seemed to fall into a nice routine which sometimes proves to be the little extra I need to get out there and get going in the morning.

So, like all things that matter, achievement and success require patience, diligence, commitment, and much of the time, not too much heavy thinking. Blind adherence to routine can carry you pretty far and before you know it....You have Will Power. Will power is earned and comes not from magic fairy dust being sprinkled down from above, but from doing it, day after day. It is important to remember that when it really comes down to it, I only have today, and I had better get up, get going, and do what needs doing because you never know what tomorrow will bring....well, besides another 4 miles and a heavy school schedule.

Now if only I had the will power to blog weekly....

Thoughts on Running..... or thoughts while running.

Well a few weeks ago I said to PapaSchnuck, " I think I am going to run, everyday, for two weeks." (why 2 weeks? well, to be honest it, I just pulled it out of the air and it seemed like a reasonable time, too short to give up because of boredom, too long to claim temporary insanity). Well, being an experienced husband, he wisely bit his lip to keep the laughter from emerging and, rather noncommittally replied, "That's nice dear" ( OK, OK, he didn't really say that but it was something equally neutral and not very encouraging) I was expecting incredulity, or shock or awe, but got, nothing, or at least not much. (Hmm... I thought to myself, he is not saying anything because he doesn't think that I am really going to do it). Well, Monday morning rolled around and I asked him to wake me, but I was so worried about not getting up, I barely got any sleep that night, up checking the clock over and over. so at 7am I bounded out of bed and off I went. And the next day..and the next... ( OK truth is. the 3rd day I could barely walk, so while I did go out, I only ran about 25 yards and walked the rest of the two miles.) One day, the first week it was raining, and I put on a hat. I would be darned if I would give in to the (imagined) failure from PapaSchnuck. ( I have to admit, this was a very wise strategy on his behalf because I think he knew if I thought HE thought I wouldn't do it, even without saying anything, it would push me. And it did, thanks babe!)



So.. 6 days the first week and 6 days the next week ( yes, I took Sundays off, except when I swapped it for a Monday run) and the two weeks flew by. ( yeah right, the only time that flew by was the time between the actual runs. I would leave the house for 40 minutes or so and swear I had been out running for 3 hours). But time did elapse, and I was faced with 2 weeks down and now what... Well I am still figuring it out ( my new time frame is my birthday at the end of the month), but still running every day. Trying desperately not to 'miss' a day else I fear never starting again, silly, I know but I have always been an all or nothing kinda gal. And, needless to say, I have worked my run up to 3-4 miles a day an, consequently, have some time on my hands.....err feet, to think a bit. The primary thought every morning is, "Who the hell would ever do his willingly?" ( yes I KNOW that I am doing it, not under any coercion, but I do not consider it doing it willing, more a ....necessity.... to prevent myself from gaining any more weight, since I have proven time and time again, a complete and utter inability to control my eating ( remember that all or nothing kinda gal? I have got to keep up the exercise. Homeschooling removed my 5 day a week workout down to 2 and that is not good for my figure.)



So I have pretty much concluded that that......running sucks. Excuse my vulgarity, but the only thing that I have found, so far, about running that is good, is when it is over. I do it because I must and believe it or not that has freed up a great deal of willpower. There is a freedom in realizing, I do not have to like it ( or even love it) but I do have to do it. I have not (yet?) experienced that 'high' runners talk about or the joy or anything remotely redeeming about it. Well, except for the fact that I dropped 5lbs in 3 weeks without changing my diet at all, poof- 5 lbs gone.. ( well not poof exactly but hey).. So the decision to just do it ( sorry Nike) , and the weight loss makes it just a little bit better to lace up, get out, and lumber on down the road one more morning.



Next post: the analogy between (or is it metaphor about?) running and homeschooling .....or maybe not.

Hey, it's almost time for school.

hey, hello, how ya doin? Miss me????? Whew, how quick those 3 months went. Can I pretend that it was all a big plan to take time off and get rest and refresh myself? no?..... OK, truth be told, we took a few weeks off that simply was so delightful that it turned in to a few months. School got wrapped up and grand plans were made to continue through summer but reality hit me smack in the face and I realized that I really really wanted a break. so I took it. And it was simply lovely to do no planning, or database or cajoling, or begging, yelling (well..... I did do that), pleading and correcting. So....... instead, we have been camping, swimming, playing, sleeping, watching TV, cleaning, organizing, and overall having a terrific summer.

Now we are (almost) ready to begin anew. All four Schnuckies are signed on for homeschooling and, despite Ben's grand plan to return to fifth grade, even he has signed on for another year ( "But, mom, I'm going back in middle school really") I have decided ( as I sit here planning and organizing for the start of the new year) that I ought to dust off my blog and do my best to keep it updated for the one or two of you that I have managed not to lose in my unannounced absence. I feel very different going into my second year and am kind of excited to see how we progress. I know that I have learned a lot and will be making the changes from last year. I hope we all get through it positively and productively (and have a bunch of fun too).

so with two fully grown puppies now, and a new kitty, I have a Pre-K, 1st grader, 3rd grader and 5th grader. and away we go.....

Wow! We are almost done, or are we?

Almost done…ha.…besides the years looming ahead of me, besides the endless questions and infinite curiosity, finished if you don’t factor in the idea that we are only a tiny inch along in a miles long journey. Finished if you read that laced with heavy sarcasm.  Finished as a mere temporary measurement as the finish line is malleable and continually expanding. But I digress.

Wow, we are almost done with the year.  Our first year has been a fun, frustrating, fantastic, fundamental, filling, fabulous, fearful, ferocious, and fantastical feat. ( How is that for alliteration?)  It is hard to believe that we are in May, and wrapping up the academic year.  I have struggled regarding the decision as to whether I ought to continue through the summer or take it all off.  I’m hedging my bets and letting the kids know we will be doing some work but being deliberately vague.  All in all I would classify this as a very successful year  We had some pretty low points, and a great deal of aggravation and frustration at times, but we also had joy, and learning , and curiosity and accomplishments and progress, and most of all, we had fun!  Much more fun that I would have thought ( much more work than I would have imagined as well, now that I mentions it ) but I can honestly say, I think that it was a success. 

Academically, the kids have made progress.  Matthew is almost done with 2nd (Singapore) and 3rd (McRuffy)grade Math curriculum.  He has progresses a year and a half in Language Arts Grammar. A academic year of spelling, handwriting, science, and 2, half years of Science ( Life and Chemistry) and a whole lot of reading. Ben has completed 4th grade Singapore math, a mish mash of 3 different grammar programs, ancient history and spelling, handwriting, ( the 2 half years of) Science, reading, reading, and more reading.  Jenny, (I have to say this makes me the most proud) learned to read. ( I mean really, she can read – pretty well) It tickles me to no end that I taught her this, and it was worth every pout and while and complaint and tantrum.  I can now say…My daughter can read.  She also is most of the way through a 1st grade math curriculum (McRuffy).

They all both got excellent art instruction at my co-op, and Ben even got some karate training and Nate was even able to have some of a pre-school class, though I need to work more with him as he still has not mastered his letters…( but he knows the capital of Nebraska).

All in all, success.  However, I am still working furiously on how to post more here on the blog, as my ability to be witty, insightful, concise, and intelligent seems to be more and more rare and I hate to prattle along with no message or story line…as I seem now, to be doing. 

So, a few more weeks and then….plans for summer.

Matthew is 8 ( eight!!)

My posts must get repetitive as I seem to exclaim shock over every birthday and the passage of another year but Good Golly, stop already.  My kids are growing up so very fast.  This special time in our lives where family is the focus and we all are at the center of each other’s world is balancing precariously on an edge.  Ben is almost 10 and before I know it they will all be out and about and with friends and different interests and this special time will be gone.  Diapers and sleepless nights and  picking out clothes and begging for stories and hugs and snuggles is rapidly disappearing.  I know I will miss is so very much.

 

And so my sweet little sunshine, my laughing ray of cheer, my peanut, my little red tomato, and all those other nicknames I call him, Matthew is now 8 years old.  While I have a carbon copy of a younger version of him ( Nate) running around bothering me, they are very different.  

I see my sweet, contemplative, internal, quiet, little guy, growing up, getting smarter, and I love him so desperately it almost hurts.

Happy Birthday my sweet Matthew

 

 

(Matt and his best friend, Nate)

the sausage making isn’t always pretty.

Sorry, I have been wrapped up a bit in politics lately (no, don’t worry I will keep the blog politically pure), and so I had to borrow the phrase from the recent legislative process to describe the recent experiences of my life.  We are finally emerging from a few rough weeks and I am still processing it all.  I said I would be honest in this thing so here it goes.  I was really resentful and actually hating having everyone here all day all the time  Ok it was only for a brief time but it was not very pleasant.  I was getting wrapped up in my own stuff and becoming a bit resentful of all the time that was going into the planning and copying and preparing of the school day, then those little ingrates were not being very appreciative of my efforts, nor my ideas (shocking huh?). Additionally,  they would complain and whine and overall be a very difficult about working on their assignments. ( I mean they would fail to scream with delight when reviewing the day’s assignments, go figure).  Days started getting longer and longer and more full of yelling and cajoling and threatening.  It was becoming more common than not to throw in the towel (whether work was completed or not) at 5pm and push everything over to finish the next day.  I would be angry, frustrated, short tempered, and hostile and the kids would be exhausted and poor Papaschnuck was dreading walking through the door at night. 

So what did we do?  simple actually, I changed my attitude.  I tried to re-center myself and realize that :

1) It did no good to my children if I was resentful of the effort that was required.  That was part of it and I needed to do it and move on, not carry it into the day and expect appreciation.

2)  Homeschooling,while work, needs to be fun and engaging.  The more I hated it, the more the kids hated it, and the less we accomplished.

3) school time needs to be school time, not Facebook, not news reading, not ‘my’ time.  The kids want to goof off and do their own thing when I am doing my own thing, we lead by example and my example is the most powerful one.

4) expectations are needed in both attitude and achievement. Kids rise to the occasion if you let them.

5) rewards need to be present and consequences need to be in place so #4 can be successful.

6) You cannot stay home and do work all day, you must get out, have fun and enjoy the time even if you miss math once in a while.  it is OK to miss math once in a while.

and finally,

7) curriculum changes are needed to help the teacher as well as the student.  Even if a course is working well for a child it does not mean it works for the teacher. I need to be able to manage all the different subjects and making changes to make life easier on me is OK ( and I am doing some changes now).

The last week or so things are better, we are all more engaged, happy and feeling more empowered.  I must continue to remain flexible and open in order to make the most of this experience, for all of us.  I am only human and we are going to have highs and lows.  I am glad to be out of that low and eager to continue to grow and learn from this, after all, I am in school again.

No I didn’t forget, I have just been busy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY JENNY PIE!

 

Butterflies and sweetie pies.  My daughter turned 6.  Not often that a week will go by without someone telling me that she looks EXACTLY like me.  I must admit it warms my heart but I know that she has also inherited my strong personality, my inability to keep my opinion to my self (even when it is not always welcomed), my stubborn nature and my slight bent towards moodiness, nonetheless, she is not me, she is her own person who entered into this world a large red bundle of sweetness and softness and remains a kind and caring, sweet and loving child.  Happy birthday Jenny!

(standing here with the gift we gave her, a beaded curtain, and the only thing I have heard her proclaim she wanted over the last year.  Her happiness with it made the 3 hour process to piece it back together worth it when she got tangled in it on the third day and pulled off two strands….well, almost.

My ‘baby’ is four so is he still my baby?

YES but..

Wait a minute, what the heck happened?  One minute I was nursing my sweet little forth child, a tiny little boy, with beautiful eyes and a bright little smile….and then I put him down in his crib and woke up this morning and realized he just turned FOUR!!  You can’t really fake it anymore at four,  I have to accept reality, my baby days are over.  This brings a deep sadness to my soul.  I enjoyed (almost) every minute of them when they were a baby.  Yes, we had problems and ups and downs but not too many and never too terrible ( of course the passage a time, smoothes the rough edges, lessens the pain) but really, I loved every minute.  They all slept well ( except a few months there with Nate) and ate well (except Jenny when she was first born) and overall they were easy kids, no colic, not too demanding, and with the benefit of having 2 parents with similar parenting philosophies, we all have been happy healthy and content.

But NOW I HAVE JUST REALIZED…  my baby days are gone. Poof, vanishing in a moment and gone forever.  I will (hopefully) have grandchildren someday but never again will I have a baby.  So much of parenting is about letting go and losing.  I guess that is, in some way, a good definition of parenting, as it is the whole goal.  Our kids grow up and leave us; learn to be self sufficient ( hopefully) and get a job; get married and have their own family.  Moving on, to realize at some long and distant time in the future how very very special it is to be a parent and how very very thankful we are to our parents for all they have done for us, and how their kids will go on to do the same………

I better go, I am going to go upstairs to see my mother, she is visiting right now, and tell her I love her, after all, I am still her baby….

Happy Birthday NATE

My sweetie pie is FOUR (4!).  My goodness he is so big.

Such a cutie pa-tootie, it is so hard to see him grow as he is my last little Schnuckie.

One thing about homeschooling though is I feel like I am wringing every minute out that I can with my kids.  I cannot possible imagine that when they are grown I will look back and regret not doing this. 

So, allow me to indulge and say, Happy 4th Birthday my sweet little special Schnuck!

 

Believe it or not that is the worst looking cake I have ever made, but how can you work with black? What other child asks for black icing on his cake?  I made a Lego cake ( well officially I called it a “Lego after the puppies got a hold of it” cake as I encountered some…errr..technical construction difficulties, but they all said it tasted great so I just tried to ignore the ‘yuck’ factor with the color).  And everyone who saw him the next day knew him well enough not to ask about the stain around his mouth.

So, dear Nate, I look forward to our journey together , I cannot wait to see where we will go.

 

 

Know when to fold ‘em

Well, some days are terrible, and some are terrific and some fall somewhere between.  Today is one of the latter.  Lackadaisical and unfocused are good descriptions of our day.  I am not feeling the love today ( for the whole school thing, not the kids) and we have limped across the finish line, making a quick late move to make bouncing balls in lieu of a Science lesson.  Actually, they have finished their stuff but it has truly taken all day due to the silliness and lack of focus, and the kids were no better (ha ha). I have decided that s’OK to give it up and not push to the end. 

Going to put on an early dinner and get ready for a girl scout meeting tonight.  Tomorrow will be busier and hopefully more productive.

NO SCHOOL??!!??!!!??!

Well in case you didn’t hear, it has been snowing.  Altogether we received about 40” of snow over the course of a week and what fun it was.  Schools closed down (not us of course, much to the kids chagrin) and it was amazing and fun to be a part of history as chances are good we will not experience that again in a while (at least around here).  So, because the snow was so high and conditions so treacherous I was simply unable to post blog entries ( did you buy that? no?  OK all I can do is apologize and continue trying my best to post as often as I can).  In the meantime, I have a few observations about the recent snowstorm.

I really noticed this time, that after a day or two (or three), that people began to complain about having their kids out of school. Most kids were home for almost 2 weeks due to weather conditions and the howling and outrage from parents was pretty loud.  The novelty wore off pretty quickly.  Don’t get me wrong, I have long said, that I do not know how parents who work outside of the home are able to manage childcare contingencies, and this snowstorm really must have been tough.  I am not really talking about the distress over missed work and missed paychecks, that is a difficult situation.  But rather, I am talking about the actual fact of simply having the kids home during the day. I was amazed at the number of people who complain about having their kids home for a few days on end (OK a week or two).  I know that many are just blowing smoke but I really thought a lot about this fact as I flittered around Facebook, mingled at the gym, and heard the people at the stores.  I listened to all the complaints with a bemused little smile on my face,  cause believe me, I KNOW. I understand the frustrations of having your kids around you 24/7.  I get it it, is not easy, and you get tired of them, and there are times that you just want to sit down on the toilet and not hear,  “MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?”. 

But seriously, what is the big deal?  They are YOUR kids,  you gave birth to them, you had them with you for a few years before you sent them to school.  I mean, what happens in the summer?  Don’t the kids have to be planned for and occupied for a few months without the public (or private) school system?  Are your kids really so terrible that the answer to managing them is to have them gone for 6 hours a day? 

Y’know, I looked at my last post and I guess lately that it sounds like I am cutting on other parents. Let me be clear,  I do not mean to rag on parents, nor do I mean to judge others too harshly. I have been given the blessing of being able to look at all this parenting thing a little differently as I do not have the option of sending them away anymore (and TRUST ME, there are days I look at that bus and think, “What was I thinking?") I get it, being a parent is hard, but the more I am with them, the more I realize that they are growing (and so very very fast).  This period of time, in my life and theirs, will be gone in an instant. And while I get mad at them, frustrated with them, angry at them, tired of them, I find I am so very very blessed and grateful that I have this TIME with them.  It will be gone all too soon and I will look back and truly believe that I will never think to myself that I had too much time with them, but not nearly enough.

“…my kids don’t listen to me…”

I am frankly quite shocked at the number of people that open admit that to me.  I don’t mean my friends who, in jest and half seriousness, bemoan the fact they their children seem to have selective hearing some of the time.  No, I mean the ones seem eager to tell me that their kids would never be able to be homeschooled because they would never listen to them.  Now, being the outspoken rather blunt often confrontational person that I am, I am torn when I hear this.  Do I smile knowingly, nod in tacit agreement, and allow the person off the hook?  Or do I say, in a sweet, inquiring, vaguely concerned, voice, “ Oh my, that must be really difficult, how ever do you get them ready for school in the morning?”'.  Or maybe, “  Wow, your house must really be stressful to live in”.  Or perhaps, “ Oh, I am so sorry, how does that make you feel?”.  It is so tempting to challenge them and that silly excuse.

Now, don’t get me wrong I totally understand that many many people have no desire to homeschool their children.  That’s OK with me, more power to them (trust me ,there are some days I fantasize sending the kids out on the bus - which conveniently stops at my driveway every morning at 8:25am. There is nothing wrong with admitting that it is a thankless, misunderstood, draining, exhausting, experience which requires you to do an unbelievable amount of planning, scheduling, shuttling, organizing, and follow up all to get a few brief verbal rewards of “OHHH that’s what you mean, I get it now, thanks Mom!” (or even more special is to hear your kid brag to another about how great it is to be homeschooled.)   But mostly you must find your rewards from within and the quiet satisfaction you get when you hear your daughter fluidly read a sentence she has been working on; or when your child offers the correct answer to a question you ask after spending time learning something; or (my favorite) when your son confidently corrects the cashier when she tells him he did not give her enough money because she miscounted (that has happened 4 times this year).  So homeschooling, like most parenting, is kind of a thankless (yet optional) job that some people choose in order to try to assist their kids in being successful academically.  It is not a measure of parental love (parental insanity maybe)  but just a choice, one of many, that parents face when making educational decisions about their kids. 

so

really…

Why would you badmouth your parenting skills when confronted with someone who makes a choice different that your own?  are you protecting yourself or me?  Is it really more shameful to admit you do not want to homeschool than it is to admit you are a terrible parent and you are not able to get your kids to listen to you?  What gives with that?

In the meantime,  my kids listen as well to me as they always have, which is to say, enough to do what they need to, get their school work and chores done most of the time, and not enough to take advantage of them despite current child labor laws.

(And for the record, I never, ever ask the those questions, I always nod my head knowingly. And, (not being ignorant),  I also do realize that there ARE lots and lots of kids out there who actually do NOT listen to their parents, in which case it is a good idea that it is known and embraced)

And Life Goes on

Ho hum, nothing much new,  I must admit I thought that things would be a whole lot more interesting, and I would be filled with funny tidbits and compelling life lessons as I journeyed along this homeschool road. I imagined cute anecdotes and posting words of wisdom and interest that my brilliant children spouted out. Instead, I find my life a blur of planning, scheduling, driving, teaching, cleaning, cooking, and occasionally sleeping.  I have not written much, not because I have not wanted to , but rather the fear of boring my one or two readers .  There is only so much, “we did our math on time”  and “Ben mastered the art of the using infinite pronouns” that keeps  a reader interested. Our last few weeks we have been plodding along, getting things done, amusing each other, annoying each other and  (for the most part) accomplishing our stuff. 

We are going to more field trips lately, which I did not do much of over the fall semester and think that it is the best part of homeschool.  We went to the aquarium last week and will be headed to the Visionary Art museum is this week.  I will try to get some pictures up as Matthew  may really enjoy that place.  It is hard to let go of academics as I feel I need to have Ben working harder than he is ( more is expected of him being older and I wonder if he is not learning as much as he needs to)  I have been trying to get him to read more classic books and push him a little in that department to expand his learning through reading.  He recently completed The "Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordian, and enjoyed it immensely.  Grandpa Luecke (somewhat of a Greek specialist in his own right) was actually sufficiently impressed with his knowledge of Greek mythology.  I have been trying to get another series for him.  But he just checked out “The Odyssey” by Homer (yes he is only 9)  I certainly did not discourage him as he was excited about getting it.  Let’s hope he cracks  it open and gives it a try.  I will even ease up on him if he reads it during school, something he used to get in trouble for at public school.

and life goes on…

Judgment matters

     PapaSchnuck, ahem, Perry has not been too pleased about my putting it all out there, schedules, names, plans, etc.  I guess I certainly understand the concern and the worry,  There are a lot of whackos in this world.  People are sick and the possibility of one stumbling across cyberspace into my lap remains a possibility.  I fear more the closer threats, the ones that come sheathed in deception those that wind into your life and then  without warning, prey on  your children.  The chances of stranger abduction or molestation, while rare, are real, but far scarier is the friend, cousin, uncle, coach, or teacher that has ulterior motives.  The ones that gain’s your child's trust then exploits it for personal gain.  It is hard to balance the fear that comes with parenting and the reality that there is evil in the world but we all must do our best.  One of the first things I taught them, was that if they get lost or separated from me, to look for another mommy to help them.  I always figure that the chances that a mother would harm them is so miniscule, they would most likely be safe.  I believe this still, and hope they always remember to look and choose help wisely.

And because I love and respect my husband,  I will try to be more conscientious about the info I disclose and I will choose my words with care.  I also hope that I will remain vigilant and involved in their lives so that they do not become prey for those that will hurt them.

Oh! Sunny Days...

Happy new Year. I suppose this ought to be a post about resolutions, or lessons learned, or even hopes for the new year. Well, who knows maybe I'll get the trifecta in this post. It has proven to be a challenge for me to figure out what specifically to blog about over the end of last year. I feel compelled to be interesting and thoughtful, something which I was not feeling personally (particularly in December) much less 'professionally' ( if I might be so bold as to assert professionalism). In fact, I was feeling a wee bit of a failure at the end of the semester. Things were tough and I was getting a lot of resistance, and then we all had the stomach bug bout. BUT, I have bounced back and and am now looking forward. I spent the day today making some changes in curriculum, tweaking the schedule a bit, organizing my lesson plans in Homeschool Tracker; and generally making some school resolutions. I want to change things up a little: a bit more academics, a bit more fun, and hopefully teaching productively.

One big benefit to homeschooling is the flexibility to go and visit places, museums, parks, aquariums, see shows and get some hand on practical experience in life. We did no really go anywhere last year. I have resolved to do better. We are in such a great location we ought to be able to go somewhere interesting at least once a month, if not more. I have a few trips lines up already and have a couple of friends who are interested in joining us (this really helps to accomplish the difficult task of traveling out with the 4 monkeys all alone- I mean bathrooms trips alone require thought out planning). Things are just easier when you go with another adult, y'know?

So 2010 looks promising, the kids are open and excited about homeschool (they brag to their friends and speak about it positively) we are closer as a family and working together well, we have our activities lines up and ahead of us ( Pokemon club, Art Club, Co-op, gymnastics, Lacrosse to name a few). I am more comfortable and confident, have better tools and skills, and am still learning ways to improve. We will go through more tough times and low moments but I need to remember that sunshine would not be appreciated and enjoyed if you did not also have shadows. This is what I will carry through the new year. May it be a prosperous and Happy one for all.