Well, I had decided this summer to teach Schnuckie5 to read. We had a half hearted attempt at it in the spring but I did not like the program (and neither did she). I then found The Reading Lesson , (Michael Levin, MD Charan Langton, MS). The first few lessons went really well and she was catching on to phonics and seemed to be proud of herself and her accomplishments. She even began reading Bob books by herself and we tried to make a big deal about it. We did not do a lesson everyday but instead a few days a week. I also began asking the boys for a quiet 1/2 of reading to help set the mood. Ideally this daone with Schnuckie3 napping (Boy oh Boy I hope he will keep napping for another year).
Then, of course, it was bound to happen, the other day she balked at the lessons,and refused to finish. I made some half hearted effort to let her know that there would be consequences to failing to finish, but y’know, life grabbed hold of me and off we went, swimming, and play dates, snacks and TV. Though I should have known better, I let it go for a thinking in the back of my mind, hmmmm this is a mistake, next time it’s going be worse.
Cue this afternoon. When I informed her that she needed to finish the two pages from her last lesson and do her next session with me today, she refused. “Fine” I told her, “ but don’t come asking for anything until you do what I asked you. Of course, an hour later when it was time to have a snack and the boys wanted to watch TV she flipped out when she realized that I meant what I had said: no snack, no TV, no nothing, until her lesson was done. I never yelled or screamed (Does speaking in that teeth clenched, ‘I really really mean it’ voice count?) but I insisted that she do her lesson. After 5 tantrums and 3 runs to the bedroom in tears, and countless whines, 2 1/2 hours later we finished our work. Every time she started to complain, I disengaged and informed her that I would be waiting to help her finish when she was ready. Every time she came back (crawling at one point), I welcomed her back enthusiastically, and then if she did not respond with at least neutrality, I’d send her off again to “return when she was ready to learn”. But we did finish we did (finally) and she was able to get on with life and hopefully see that I am serious when I ask her to do work.
I suspect this was the very first of a long series of battles I will face as we begin (OH MY GOODNESS we are getting close). I know that they will enjoy things in the beginning but very quickly become disillusioned with the joy that is school work. So, I hope to follow the model I used today. No yelling, no screaming, just persistence that the work must be done before the fun. I can’t wear myself out on one kid and try to scream them into submission. Instead, I need to help them realize that it is in their best interests to finish the work and all the while keep my sanity (what’s left of it) intact.
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