Still alive, still homeschooling, still have four kids

Still married to the best dad and most wonderful husband. Still busy, still tired, still trying to get the house clean, the kids to activities, the groceries bought. Still trying to conquer the challenge that is laundry. Still running in the mornings (most), napping in the afternoons and staying up far later at night than I ought to. Still trying to make it to the gym, the pool, the playground, the library. Still cooking most meals, leaving the dishes for the husband and yelling at the kids to put their toys away. Still reading as much as I can, eating more than I should and complaining as much as I am able. Still plugged into the iPod, the laptop, the TV or my bed. Still correcting the dogs, tossing the cat off the counter, reminding the boys to water their guinea pigs, and checking on the various fish babies. Still driving the minivan, the monstertruck, and occasionally my bicycle. Still showering myself, bathing the kids, and mopping up after the pets. Still trying to keep in touch with friends, posting on Facebook, and yapping on the phone. Still getting the mail, learning to text, and trying to figure out my new smartphone.

 

In other words, I am still me, still doing everything but blogging. Nice to be back after a 7 month, who knows how well I will do but I am always willing to try again. We are gearing up for Year 3 of homeschooling and given the evolution of our experiences, I figured I had better give a attempt at trying to document it. Not sure if there is anyone left out there still reading but feel free to comment on anything or send me a question or idea to blog about…after all, everything is still the same and I am still trying to be creative, interesting, and astute, and still struggling with it all.

Dog Training and other thoughts about raising children.

Raising kids is like raising dogs. Yes, I said it, go ahead report me to the authorities, guilty as charged. Oh, of course, there ARE major differences. I am not allowed to use the e-collars on them, nor lock them in wire crates (though, I admit, I do think about that on occasion). But in all seriousness there are some major similarities in training dogs and in raising kids.

Why does this occur to me. Well, we finally had enough with the puppies ( Am I still calling two 80lb creatures puppies?....Yes) They have really gotten out of control and we decided we needed professional help ( luckily they are listed in the yellow pages –ha ha how is that for a dated reference- under Dog Trainers, unfortunately there is not subsequent listing under Child Training. ) At any rate we had a guy come in (Scott) who followed the dog psychology theory of Cesar Milan and basically whipped us into shape and made us the boss of these adorable yet frustratingly bad creatures ( ummm the dogs in case you were thinking otherwise) BUT in his teachings and wisdom, we also see that we need to come down a bit harder on the kids and make sure to keep them in line as well.

Turns out the dogs simply need to know that we are the boss….all the time…in every interaction, with every request. Sounds simple but the trick is in figuring out how to be the alpha and in doing it EVERY TIME ( I capitalize as evidently that is the key, consistency) well go figure…. Consistency and being the boss every time seems to work well with kids as well. It does not pay to give that rawhide (candy) to the dog (child) simply to buy a few minutes of peace. It does no good to leave the dogs (child) outside (in front of the TV) because you want to finish blogging. It does not help to ignore the crayon (marker) in the dog’s mouth ( child’s hand) as it is simply the beginning of a bigger problem ahead. Nope. One must get up, and correct, scold, reprimand, reward, praise , reinforce EVERY TIME, in a neutral, calm assertive voice.

And thus the second point. The words don’t matter, at least mostly. Evidently, yelling, screaming, complaining, shrieking, wailing, sarcasm and frustration in your voice works about as well for a dog as it does for a child. Granted children are able to understand the meaning of the spoken words, but the most effective is a calm voice, conveying the desired outcome, everything else gets washed away in the noise of the situation. Yelling and screaming do nothing more than excite (tune off) the dog (child). The whole point is the message that you are sending.

So, when training your dog (child) be sure to:

1) Remain calm
2) Speak with authority and love
3) Understand that mistakes are often a result of your own miscommunication or earlier errors
4) There is always a lesson in failure (for you especially).
5) Know that when in doubt, treats can be highly motivating.
6) Always be ready for kisses

The Joy of the Stomach Bug

OK, I know, there you are looking at the title and thinking "Uh oh, here she goes", ready to read a long and winding complaint about sick kids..."( I mean whew, what could be more exciting than listening to a person discuss various bodily fluids and how they might arrive in the toilet) well SURPRISE! I am actually going to talk a little bit about the joy (oft overlooked) of the stomach bug.

First, a little background. I took the kids to Chuck E Sneeze last Friday, trying to be a good mom and reward them for doing well in school (and by well I mean being present in the house). I had mentally prepared myself that we might get a bug or germ as a result of this visit (I even brought the hand sanitizer and placed in prominently on the table in a vain voodoo attempt to bluff the germs). I cautioned the kids to try no to touch their noses and mouths. I said a prayer. I was prepared. What I was not ready was the blood coming out of my child's mouth when he rounded the corner and tripped, crashing into the climbing tower you scale to reach the tunnels. (yes, of course it was Nate) One look and I knew: ER and stitches. We had only been at CEC enough time to get coins, order pizza, spend a few, and eat when it happened. Having brought 2 hours of planning work, my computer and a novel, we had to pack up everything and haul out to the hospital to get three, awful, black, harsh stitches on my sweet boy's lip.

(BTW, he got the stitches out yesterday and it looks pretty good. The doctor did a great job and he never cried at all during the sewing, they numbed him topically, and it was actually a rather positive experience...um...if you had to go through it).

SO,
The stomach bug was brought home that night and it started the next day with poor sweet Jenny, moved to Ben, me, Nate and then Perry, ( as of this typing Matthew remains healthy and seems...knock wood...to be the one who avoided it ) Jenny got the sickest, Ben shrugged it off in 12 hours. I was down for a while almost 2 days, and Nate managed to throw up and not damage his stitches. (whoops am I getting too much into body fluids?)

OK, so my main amazement and awe about this wondrous bug is that it MUST be smart. (and I meant smart as in thinking and planning smart) because when these things go through our house, we always take turns with it. We are so nice about it, like it is a precious gift to be carefully shared. It is not fun to deal with a sick kid but it is really not fun to deal with two at the same time and that almost NEVER happens. Just like clockwork one of us emerges form the depths of illness and begins to get back to normal and the next is felled. Granted, we have so many people in this house a 24 hour bug wipes a week off the map but it could be worse. ( I won't discuss the January a few years ago where I was home with a sick one for 29 days STRAIGHT....I went a little bonko, I admit) Anyway, I wonder why this phenomenon is not better studied. It does not seem to matter that we were all exposed at the same time, nor how much scrubbing and washing and cleaning and sanitizing and quarantining, almost with precision, it strikes us only one at a time. You have to appreciate the consideration in that, never are the two parents struck down at the same time, nor do we have to divide our love and sympathy among the sick, one child gets it all ( and face it we only have so much on any given day).

My second appreciation is that PapaSchnuck became MamaSchnuck for a day (OK, a day and a half) and did a GREAT job. Laundry folded, kitchen cleaned, kids fed, kids schooled ( YES!) house managed, you name it, DONE. DONE. DONE. All while I languished in my sick bed, sleeping endless hours of undisturbed rest. I haven't slept so much since college. Besides having to cancel the teaching in my co-op class and rescheduling my home school review, all in all I took a serious chunk out of my sleep deficiency total.

Finally, an appreciation for my kids, besides being understanding and invaluable during the Nate lip incident, they also were good all week. We managed to get out during the reprieve of PapaSchnuck taking the sickness from us, and still got work done and helped each other out. Especially when I was sick and really out they stepped up and behaved and did as they needed to. I thank the Stomach Big for helping me see and appreciate them in a different way.

It has been over a year since we have all been sick like this, probably closer to two years, and we were due. I am happy its over and hope it does not come back anytime soon, but I dread having to return to Chuck E Cheese to actually let the kids enjoy their earned reward....hmmmm I wonder, do you think the movie theatre is any less germy?

The Bad and The Ugly

Well, I certainly spend a great deal of time bragging about the joy of homeschooling. Boasting of all the fun and joy we have all day long, laughing and playing, learning and loving. Hey, whats the down side? Well, there is no down side............ Yeah, right. There are plenty of downsides to homeschooling, but none that are so terrible ( at least for me ) that it makes me want to stop. So I decided that I really ought to list a few realities of homeschooling to all you (OK, the two or three) who are reading in case you want some balance.

First, and becoming more and more noticeable the longer we homeschool, interrupting children. (I know, it sounds like a bad joke...Knock knock...whose there? Interrupting children. Interrupting chil....MOM!!!) But seriously...my kids, whose every word I treasure, each wise and fascinating nugget of info they wish to offer while we are in lessons... become crazy self absorbed, blindly egotistical creatures who then expect that there are simply no boundaries that cannot be breached. I mean, you are going into the bathroom, well, no big deal, they are certain that you would immediately want to hear about a leaf found in the hallway that looks EXACTLY like a stink bug, it absolutely can't wait until hands are washed, no. Deep in conversation with Dad about the schedule in the morning? no worries, It is assured that the snack you want NOW, simply cannot wait for little things like FINISHING MY SENTENCE BECAUSE I AM TALKING TO YOUR FATHER!!!! ahem, sorry, but it is gotten quite out of hand and we are attempting to address it post haste. There is definitely a benefit for kids to learn to sit down, be quiet, and I don't care what you have to say at this moment, I am busy. I think they learn better in public school that their every thought and experience is not welcomed with wonder and awe.

Second, planning, planning, planning. It is worse than housework. I mean going on an awesome field trip to say...make glass, FUN FUN FUN. Creating a knowledgeable lesson to be able to squeeze that mind around some learning that relates to tings done during the day in a broader sense like ancient glass making or the effect of factories and automation on the industrialized age... Sigh, sucks the life out of the joy, I confess sometimes we just go and have fun.

Third Humbleness. There is nothing quite so ego shattering as a your 6 year old daughter correcting your mistake while teaching a lesson. Or your 8 year old son fixing a math error you made. Listen, I hear a lot from people who claim there is no way they could ever teach their kids as they lack the knowledge. Well, evidently I am right there as well ( even though I DO have the pre-school agenda mastered. I make it to about late elementary school but overall, it is ridiculous how little I know sometimes. I am learning so much but the trick is to try to keep that to myself, at least as long as possible. Learning in order to teach, I suspect is common for all teachers. ( Besides how many of us really could remember all those prepositions without a little cheat sheet??)

Finally, Dirt and clutter. The house is a mess. No, really, a mess. It is hard to keep up. Should I teach grammar today or trade a lesson to get the bathrooms cleaned? When they were in school and out of the house there was only so much they could get into, now they are home, ( I mean we DO go out, actually a lot but you understand) we are home for most every meal, ( yeah, 6 breakfasts, 5 lunches 6 dinners every day-I am running the dishwasher twice a day sometimes.) We are together all the time (ALL.THE.TIME) and trying to clean the house is like bailing a sinking boat, it is a losing battle. There are days I throw my hands up and do the ostrich, only in my bed, not the sand. The mess is a tidal wave that threatens to sweep me away at times.

So, there you have it. Not too bad and I have omitted a few hundred but today, these are the ones that bother me. Would I trade it in for a clean house, un-interrupting kids, retained knowledge ( or at least ignorance of my limitations) and weekends free of planning?....Nope, not a chance,

(turn head "WHAT? WHAT? could it not wait another second when I would be done blogging?")

sigh

gotta go.

Hello? yeah, I'm here....um........nothing.

Two weeks later....

Ahem, am I allowed to tell you how busy I am? How I have tried to do more this year to make homeschooling more fulfilling and rewarding? How my house is a wreck and there are three kids in soccer, three in Scouts and I have to occasionally get food for the locusts that breeze through the pantry? Truth be told it doesn't take long to post and entry in my blog, the harder part is coming up with a topic to discuss which allows me to post a thoughtful yet admittedly bias opinion. Perhaps the key word is thoughtful, the mere fact that I am able to be thoughtful on occasion seems miraculous to me, so when I get the opportunity, I do take it, it just doesn't come along very often. So, may I use any of the above excuses? No? ah well, for what it's worth the frequency by which I claim 'busy' as an excuse is getting old to me too.

So where to begin? First with a clarification, ( my first evah!) I posted last time about day care kids, I know better than to stereotype families and kids and I thought I had qualified everything sufficiently, but evidently, I may have given a misperception about an important point that I need to clarify. I do not think that day care kids are sad....my point was that I am sad to think of day care kids. Yes, I know they are (like most all kids), as cherished and loved as my own, I simply was trying to post on my feelings about how I might react if I had to put my kids in day care, and feeling sad that there are sacrifices made to the importance of being together, that's all. It would make me so profoundly sad to have to turn my kids over to someone else as our time with our children is so brief on this earth anyway. I meant no offense or criticism of life choices, we all work with the hands we are dealt, as best as we are able ( well most of us). Okay? are we clear? Are we good? Terrific.

Now on to the post:
There I was, fresh off a grueling work out (ha ha ) showering at the gym. As I turned off my shower, I hear a woman next to me....(wait for it).....ANSWER HER CELL PHONE........IN.THE.SHOWER. Now I happen to be all about communication, I think cell phones are the bees knees, it is hard to imagine a device that is more convenient and helpful, yet pervasive, in our society. But frankly, I think we all need to take a huge step backwards. A woman answered the cell phone in the shower. Does anyone else find that.....unbelievable? Now before you pepper me with all sorts of reasons why she might answer ( awaiting a doctor's call, needs to pick up a child. etc) I get it, there are instances that having a phone is vital and so so so so helpful. But, this was the woman's entire conversation "Hello... yeah, I'm here... um nothing really, I am in the shower...oh about 20 minutes.. OK, I'll talk to you then....yup....bye" Now if she was awaiting a important call, that was NOT it, why did she answer, she must have looked at the number. I mean can't you wait a few minutes to finish cleaning yourself. Are you oh so important (or egotistical) (or needy) that you think someone cannot wait a FEW minutes to be graced with your response? that you might be able to get a message and perhaps call back? that maybe, a call could....WAIT??? gasp, Perhaps we need to place some limits on the intrusiveness of our cell phones and what we deem as appropriate.

Now, I own a cell phone, I occasionally use it. I received it 10 years ago when I was preggers with my first child (umm OK maybe 11 years ago) and I have upgraded the phone a few times but have the same plan: $19.00 a month, 60 minutes of talk, no texts, per month. I have gone over my allotment of talk only 2 months ( consecutive months in 2006 when my land line was in Verizon hell). I do not like my phone, rarely have it with me and if I do, chances are it hasn't been charged or I have forgotten to turn it on. I realize that as I have my children with me most of the time this is a luxury I am able to have and I understand I am on one end of a spectrum. I do not expect everyone to follow my oh so sage advise to ditch their phones and live more in the moment but please, can we come up with a few sacrosanct rules to follow ( unless we are talking life and death)?

1) No cell phones in bathrooms...that includes the toilet AND the shower.

2)No cell phones in restaurants (at the table). You really do speak louder when you are on them even if you don't think you do, ( you do!).

3) No cell phones while working out, especially while participating in a group exercise class. ( Yes, this happens way more frequently than you might imagine) Also, treadmill and other exercise equipment should be free of talk unless the person in next to you working up a sweat as well. If your call is important enough to answer, then move your lazy self out in a common area, I mean you ARE there to move about yes?

4) Doctor offices or perhaps waiting rooms in general ( please get up and walk away).

5) Please, never answer your phone while you are in the middle of a conversation with someone else. Basically, you are telling that person that a new, more important, interesting, person has come along and you prefer to talk to them.

and finally, I know I will get some flack for this one but what the hey:

6) Driving. I mean really, how often is that conversation worth the risk? Yeah Yeah I know, you are careful, you slow down, you drive fine, you pay attention, it is no different than any other distraction. I get it, we all rationalize this one. But I doubt anyone can honestly tell me they have never drifted off and lost attention during a call, (yes, only for a moment and nothing happened) but please, I run, and I almost get nailed every day I am out there... Odds are that luck will run out eventually. Hang up and drive your car.

Life is too short to ignore your surroundings, to navigate this planet plugged into another realm where the people you talk to are not around you is really bad. Being impolite or rude is one aspect of the overuse of cell phones but do we not lose a bit of ourselves and our lives and our experiences as we fall into an electronic void? Life is too short and life is too fun. I mean really, is that call SO important that you must answer it? Cell phones (all phones for that matter) ought to be there for OUR convenience, not the other way around, you do not HAVE to answer the phone when it rings. Now don't even get me started on texting....

See you later dear….

Well I sit here in the library of my local Elementary School, yes they do allow homeschoolers in the doors, we aren’t contagious as far as they are concerned (if they only knew). I am coming to you tonight from my daughter’s Daisy meeting. For the uninformed, Daisies is the first level of Girl Scouts. After 2 years as Daisies they become Brownies, for 2 years, and then the final exalted position of Girl scout. Now Jenny being the first girl in the family this is a whole new world, I have had years of Cub Scouts. For the equally uninformed, Cub Scouts is the first level of the Boy Scout branch. They start as Cubbies in 1st grade ( or 6 years old to be more specific) and progress through Tiger, Bear, Wolf, then 2 years of Webelos ( I know crazy right but it means: We'll Be Loyal Scouts).



At any rate, I am rambling tonight, appropriate I guess as I have been totally crazy today, but I walked into the school ( 6:03pm yes, I was late- ugh), and there was a dad picking his kids up from the afterschool YMCA program and there was one lone kid left in the cafeteria. Now, I know that many, many kids are in daycare. In fact more than not I would wager, but…. I admit, I was a bit struck. Today, like most days, I have spent the entire day with my kids. (Yes I know, to many of you this is not a palatable choice, and I myself can wax poetic about the drawbacks of this but,) tonight, I began to realize this thing, that is so often required of families, this…… sacrifice, that happens every day, is terribly sad. I understand that many families have no other choice. Through circumstance, or luck, situation or misfortune, there are many single parents who must work full time to support their families. Other families need both salaries, and some families choose to work to get the extra benefits of more money. But looking at the real life result of day care I was profoundly affected. This child went off to school by 8:30 ( most likely earlier, perhaps as early as 7am) and then had a full day of school, followed by a couple of hours after school , in day care, before being picked up to go home. Maybe 10-11 hours a day spent away form the family. How many hours are actually spent with mom and dad?......three, four? and what gets squeezed into that time? Eating, bathing, homework? On an average week they spend what, 15 hours with their awake child? Maybe 20? Wow. What has happened to our society to where we must outsource our children to other people? Don’t get me wrong, many families do not have another choice, but it doesn’t mean it is not a profoundly sad fact that it is so very common. I may resent my children at times for their demands on my every second; I may complain at the intrusiveness of their ever present needs; I may rue the day I decided it is good policy to try to answer every endless question, but I simply cannot even image handing them over to someone else to do all these things. The day will come soon enough when my children will be off and gone. I want to put that off as long as possible. Children need their parents, and need to be able to learn from them. Childhood is too short to miss out on and once it’s gone, you can never get it back. I feel blessed that I can make the sacrifices rather than making them sacrifice me.

The Joy of Field Trips

Academy of Natural Sciences

Nothing philosophical today simply a sharing of the joy that is the field trip. I did not take advantage as much last year and have been trying to make up for lost time. We went up to the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia on Friday ( near to the more well known Franklin Institute) and while small and easily seen in a few hours we had s great time. The kids were able to see the Dioramas of the animals ( moose and lions and bears and stuff) and best of all we spent quite a bit of time in the butterfly room. It was really fun to see all the different varieties, look at them eat. and they were everywhere, the walls and floors ( we had to tread carefully), so many colors and sizes. Jenny and Matthew semed to enjoy it the most. They also got to spend time a room called "Outside IN" with some live animals, animal bones, and hides, lots of things to touc and explore. Puzzles to do and all sorts of creepy crawly things to touch and see.

McFadden Glass Blowing



Then yesterday we went to a glass blowing shop, small and quaint in the garage of a guy. 20 active homeschoolers attended and everyone got to make either a pendant or a marble. And yes, they allowed the 4 year old monster ( aka Nate) to actually use a rod to get molton glass, and (with help ) pick colors and form it into a marble. Jenny got to make a pendant and I have to say, Really was one of our best field trips ever. No way would they ever do this in public school.

First they got the molton glass out of the furnace, then dabbed it in the additional colors they wanted. After placing it back in the rewarming furnace, they then they rolled it on a table, back to rewarm, then using the tongs, formed it into the shape and then knocked it off the rod. After placing it in insulation to cool, the rod goes into to barrel to cool off which pops off the extra glass from the rod. After 15-20 minutes the marble is cool enough to handle and the nub gets ground down to make it all smooth. It really was fun and different. This is the stuff that makes homeschooling worth it.

Fabulous Days.