Waiting

I guess lately I haven't felt that there is much to write about as we are in a bit of a limbo. Almost done with school as an organized government entity. I have been "checking out" so to speak in terms of really being concerned about what they are doing especially as I deem much of it busy work. Schnuckie5 in particular, as her pre-school is almost over I find we are playing hooky a lot more (today in particular) in fact we have missed 3 of the last 4 days, one for a valid reason but Friday and today because I am being lazy. Not really great as we ARE still paying the bill. I have not have the motivation to go to the gym as I am not feeling well. That along with her apathy to school in general seems to cinch the deal. Maybe I am trying out less structure (if that is the case we are failing as we have really not been accomplishing much).

I am in a bit of a limbo and waiting: for school to end, for homeschool to begin, for summer plans to be made, for Birthday season to be over. I have been busy busy busy but who isn't? I think that I am getting closer to getting all my curriculum complete. Papaschnuck seems to be muttering and measuring in the room for desk space and bookcases a little more and I guess we are moving forward. It has all been a bit anticlimactic as the waiting seems never ending, everyday there is nothing new to write as I am still waiting, yet I cannot imagine beginning today. This has me interested of course as I wonder what is the reluctance? Why not start tomorrow? Today. What is the big deal? I think I am still scared. Worried about my ability to manage 4 the educational needs of all of them, being organized enough, actually getting things done, and handling that Schnuckie3 who is so consuming regarding attention and time. Intellectually, I know I can do it but there will be a learning curve. Emotionally, I have all my fears, apprehensions, hopes and dreams. Divergent feelings at odds with each other settling to a tentative balance. I guess I am feeling more peaceful that I can do this and will do this.

Either way we are headed forward, getting closer and moving on.

Birthday Season marches on

Happy Birthday Schnuckie7

How is it that time goes so quickly? Birthday after birthday, pants getting shorter and boys getting taller. It is hard to believe (once again) that these guys are growing up so very quickly. Only one more birthday thes year and Birthday Season will be over for the Schnucks for another year. Today it is my sweet second child who is celebrating. My happy-go-lucky, good-natured, math guy is having his birthday. He is so smart and so sweet and so loving. Mostly he is joyful nut clouds can darken the sunny sky of his mood. He can be oh so stubborn (Wherever does he get that from??) with a will of iron. His grump and grimace is worn fiercely upon his face when he is unhappy and only fades away when he decides it is time to return to joy. Happily it does not make itself known on a regular basis. Schnuckie (now) 7 is such a joy to have around. His cheerful personality and smile is enough to make me put down my paper and grab a quick hug, almost always given without reserve and accompanied with a quiet, "I love you mom".

My Schnuckie 7 is the reason I finally decided to Homeschool. He is the one that is most looking forward to it and is the biggest reason I am hoping for success. His quick little brain and bright little spirit makes me want to push him forward to see him grow and learn. I pray that I am able to give him the direction and support he needs to make the most of his gifts.

I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART
Happy Happy Birthday!